Online Dating for the Sensitive Soul

Online dating can bring about high expectations for romance while usually delivering something more between a booty call and a wedding date. It’s really like a box of chocolates, and no matter how direct your profile is, or how clear your conversation is, you never really know what kind of date you are going to get. With that said, I do believe online dating has potential for something amazing. The biggest piece to grasp of online dating is maintaining inner peace amidst uncertainty. I wanted to share some tools I’ve learned as a sensitive person myself to bring peace throughout the process.

  1. Don’t hook up with your date right away. No matter how cute they are, how spiritual they claim to be, or how vegan they are, it doesn’t mean they are going to love you unconditionally, forever. As a sensitive person who understands everything is connected and everything is energy, you mustn’t exchange sexual energy with them without a commitment. As sensitive people, we will start feeling that unconditional bond that comes with closeness and not everyone feels that way with sex in this desensitized society. It’s sad, but we are surrounded by people who truly are incapable of feeling because of diet, or media exposure, or lifestyle. You can hook up if you must, but just be prepared to visit #5.
  2. Texting with someone over a period of time does not necessarily mean you are bonding at all. Seems weird, right? You’ve been getting good morning and goodnight texts for weeks, and they text you their yummy vegan meals, and let you know they are thinking about you. In your universe, this means something, right? In the world of online dating, there may be three other conversations going on similarly with multiple people. In the just-swipe-to-find-your-soulmate culture, instant gratification in the land of a million options to choose from is the name of the game. The only way to truly be sure they are feeling the same way is to regularly see each other in person.
  3. Trust your intuition. They said all the right things, even have a million coincidences with your life story, yet didn’t text you the next day? Red flags should not be ignored. Chances are they are not as sensitive as they portrayed, didn’t really catch any major feels no matter what they said, and are on date #2 for the weekend. People always present their best selves on dates and are not always as they seem. The red flag you ignored that didn’t feel right to you will ultimately be the reason you visit #5 later.
  4. Avoid narcissists playing games with your sensitivity. I once dated a guy who really hurt my feelings by not making plans for a second date. A few weeks later, he started blaming me for us not working out because I was still accepting dates with other guys. This took me for a loop. He actually had me feel bad for a behavior that was a logical response to his behavior of not reciprocating interest. Complicated, right? Turns out, he didn’t really want me anyway. He just wanted the power to control who I was dating or not dating like some kind of ego stroke. If someone is being heart-centered, they’d never shame you or guilt you into a behavior. Especially if they aren’t even observing that same behavior (ex. they get mad you still have Tinder dates, yet they are still active on Tinder). If someone is saying something contrary to your purest intentions, trust yourself over anyone else’s opinion and don’t let yourself get manipulated.
  5. Heartbreak is sometimes inevitable. You caught some feels while your date did not. You are a deeply feeling human and it’s okay. Heartbreak means you are on the path to finding what you truly want, and you are closer than ever now that you are no longer wasting time on the wrong person. Let yourself feel it, but don’t wallow too long. Meditate on the infinite abundance of the universe and realize true love won’t be denied to you when it’s right. Trust in the reason for the heartbreak and try again. Maybe you were just meant to touch their life for a moment and to move on to something more right for you. Retreat to yourself for awhile to keep your energy high, and try again. And try not to let the last guy’s mistake affect how you treat the next guy, who could be genuinely trying. 💚

Seems a little scary, right? You may be thinking why put myself through this at all? Trust me, goddess, I feel you. Life is busy and there’s a million things you can experience while you are here. It doesn’t have to necessarily be a romantic love experience at all to lead a fulfilled life. But I do know romantic love is one of the most euphoric experiences to have while you’re a human. A shot at a true partner to experience the magic of life with is worth it.

Realize that the ups and the downs, they are all here for a reason. The Universe would never let you go through a door that wasn’t yours to open. Trust the process. Trust the heartache. Even trust the sadness. The wrong ones will continue to be removed from your life one way or another. And with every door definitively shut, you are that much closer to finding the right one to finally walk through. Know this, and be at peace with it. Remember, sensitivity is a super power. And being able to love deeply and care about people you meet is the reason you’ll find romantic love this life. ✌🏼

Label Me: The Human Condition 

Nothing ever stays the same, yet year after year so much changes that it still surprises me. We are constantly evolving, searching and experiencing. Throughout this life, we find ourselves moving in different directions, trying on new labels for ourselves, and moving on to the next. We are a child, a best friend, a student, a lover, an ex-girlfriend, a friend, a roommate, and a soulmate. We go through all of these labels, all the while exchanging experiences with other labels like teacher, boyfriend, boss, and grandma. We are constantly interacting with a sea of faces that go on swapping labels, like best-friend, coworker, and date. At the end of the day, we have a hard time looking past the labels we use to define others’ relationships to us, as well as defining ourselves.  

“Behind every atom of this world hides an infinite universe.” – Rumi

 
Remember, that you are a reflection of the divine. You are a part of the universe, and the universe is a part of you. You are part of all that ever is, all that ever was, and all that ever will be. We are infinite beings, experiencing a finite existence. To get caught up in the matters on the surface is to lose sight of the infinite reality that is your soul: the ghost operating and observing the three-dimensional vessel that is your body. Anything that ever took place in your life is timeless. Anyone you ever exchanged experiences with in this existence is infinitely a part of your story as you are of theirs. Being a part of a creation that is happening through us, and not just to us, is to recognize the divine in every experience you’ll ever have. The truth is, you are as infinite as the entire universe as well as a mere piece of it. As much as change appears to be a reality, there is a constant divine flow that runs through absolutely everything, as we are all a part of all of creation. The next time you catch yourself labeling anything or anyone, consider this: To label yourself as anything less than infinite is to sell yourself short. 

Living the Law of Attraction

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Albert Einstein posed a question meant for us to question the very nature of our existence. “Is the Universe a friendly place?” Based on what we know about quantum physics and the law of attraction, I believe we can answer yes, the universe is a friendly place. As someone who has manifested both miracles and problems into her life, I can say without a shred of doubt that the universe is willing to bring you anything you wish. Even though I have manifested horrible things, I have also manifested seemingly impossible good fortune.

Whatever your focus is on becomes manifested into material form. Belief makes the unbelievable tangible. Want to see an angel? After continuously focusing on my belief in a spiritual experience, I finally experienced many amazing things. Worried about a car being repossessed? Worries can block all abundance to help pay for that car, so the universe helped there as well…. Like earning thousands the day after it’s repossession. A little too ironic, right? Focused on abundance and a huge bank account? I’ve been there too and used my riches to share with my family, friends, and causes I cared about. Worried about a bad grade? The focus will make you late or miss class due to unforeseen circumstances no matter how hard you studied. Want to talk to that spiritual guru you’ve been listening to on the radio? No problem. The universe brought a phone call to me through mutual friends. Want that reading by that medium so in demand she has a 4 year waiting list and charges a ridiculous fee? No problem. Belief you will speak can bring you to that right time right place moment, free of any charge, I may add. Want a paid writing opportunity? A stay-at-home business? Belief will make these things come to you almost effortlessly.

After seeing these patterns in my own life, I can without a doubt say the universe is a friendly place. One spiritual teacher I admire explains that the universe is like an over-eager genie granting your wish before you even say “I wish for”. The universe is granting them by responding to your thoughts. Your thoughts literally manifest everything in your life. Not everyone likes to hear this because it requires taking responsibility for the good and the bad, but it is 100% true.

Thank goodness all manifestations take time and consistent focus and action steps. Emotions can give us clues about whether our thoughts are focused on our highest good or not. Bad feelings about the worries you have will give you previews, like a loving warning before it manifests into form. The other realization that helped is to realize positive loving thoughts are way more powerful than negative ones. However, consistent worry will attract the very things you don’t want.

Realizing this freeing concept that the universe really does want us to have what we need has invited career opportunities, friendships, love, and abundance that I always wanted. Einstein’s intent to leave us exploring this question has given us a whole new understanding of consciousness. Reality can be whatever you would like it to be. Life really can be a dream. There is always a way… even though our feeble human minds cannot see an answer, the divine can. Let the universe do the heavy lifting.

Julie Tour Discusses 5 Simple Steps to Develop Psychic Awareness

My passion is to help people develop their own psychic abilities, re-establishing a personal connection to the divine. If you have not yet had a spiritual experience, it is more than likely your lifestyle keeping you in a certain consciousness. My journey is not the only possible journey, but I have definitely picked up a few things that have tremendously helped my intuition and psychic experiences along the way that I would like to share with you. Please feel free to post any feedback, questions, or tips you have picked up yourself while developing your intuition. Namaste xo.

Myth Buster: Unrequited Love

Unrequited love does not exist in our universe. Consider the text book definition. The dictionary defines unrequited as “not reciprocated or returned in kind.” I am already hearing the cries, “But Johnny didn’t love me!” or “I was never good enough for him!” or better yet, “She never even noticed me.” I still stand by my statement that unrequited love is a myth in this universe.

Why a myth, you ask? Love is a form of energy, and energy in our universe is never really lost. As a society, we have gotten so caught up in the physicality of “boy meets girl- falls in love” that we lose the sense of what love really is. Consider that everything in the universe is connected with energy. Consciousness in essence is where your thoughts dwell. While some may stay locked in the cause and effect, linear mentality, others transcend that limiting belief. Some say that the smallest shift in consciousness can ripple throughout time and space. One physical moment of deep love can leave it’s ripple effect throughout your entire life unbeknownst to you for most of your physical life.

Love is the highest vibrational emotion you can emit. In the material world, if you find yourself getting caught up loving someone who does not seem to physically reciprocate your feelings, remember that the energy you are emitting is never wasted and should not discourage you from being a vessel of love. Many people will harden their hearts to keep the hurt out, but in truth you are only hurting the self from cutting it off from the universe. Be as soft as you were before the seemingly unpleasant experience. The universe always matches your vibrational frequency. If you find yourself sending love to someone and physically, they do not do the same, do not let it bring you down. Stay in love. Be open to receiving it back from the universe in other ways– even though it is not what you originally expected. The universe can shower back your love in many different ways: more leisure, abundance, golden opportunities, or new loving people in your life. The possibilities are endless. The truth is we do live in a very loving universe. Unrequited love was invented by man’s meek understanding of the notion of love from a very physical perspective. Love is always returned to you, no matter how different the outward appearance may initially seem.

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Manifestation with Einstein

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“Your imagination is your preview of life’s coming attractions. Choose your thoughts carefully. What you focus on becomes your reality.”
– Albert Einstein

I’m convinced Einstein was listening to whispers of the divine. He understood thoughts are energy and where your thoughts dwell will actually manifest the reality around you. Keeping your focus is a worthwhile discipline that can transform your life.The one who manifests their dreams understands that energetically you must feel like the experience you seek is already here in spiritual truth. Believe in it so much that it doesn’t have a choice but to eventually materialize in the material world.

Watch your beliefs and thoughts about others. If you focus on others’ shadows and faults, you can manifest and attract more negative experiences and who wants that? The opposite is also true. You will always find what you seek. Look at others from the highest perspective: compassion. There may be a time in your life when you may have been ignorant to what you know now.
Forgive others for their ignorance and focus on the good in life. Be an example of peace and peace will be returned to you in your experiences. Give any worries or cares to God and the angels, or whoever you spiritually align with. Trust you are being helped. We truly live in a loving universe. Always be positive. The universe responds to your vibrations you are emitting and delivers it right back to you in your experiences! How cool is that? Choose wisely.

Affirm daily: I am surrounded by loving, helpful, and healthful people.

Making Decisions from a Place of Awareness

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When you find yourself making tough decisions, look inward. What are your insides telling you? Tapping into your intuition will help you make a decision from a place of awareness instead of fear. As a living being, you are wired to be a perfect vessel for energy. Nikola Tesla says it best: “If you want to find the secrets of the universe, think in terms of energy, frequency and vibration.” Everyone has an inner truth detector when tapping into the energy of others. I think of it like sensing chord and key changes in music. When you hear a music chord progression go from playing a major chord to a minor chord, your whole body can feel that change. When you really tune into what someone is saying, and they lie, your body feels the energy of the lie in the same way you would a change in key. Something feels wrong, or out of perfect harmony.

Many people repeat untruths while not being consciously aware they are lying. There are a many misconceptions that are repeated as fact within society. When confronted with decisions in life, it is best to keep a bird’s eye view. By this, I mean to look at your life and your overall purpose from a broader perspective. By tuning into your inner guidance, you can feel which step is the best next step to take. Does this bring me closer to my life’s purpose or away from it? Which action brings you more peace? Your inner truth detector will help you navigate through the untruths.

If you find that you are having difficulty in feeling your inner guidance, I would suggest clearing the chakras through meditation. A guided meditation for chakra clearing would be a good place to start. I personally like Doreen Virtue’s “Chakra Clearing” meditation CD. You will notice that as time goes on, and you are clearing your chakras regularly, your intuition will become much more clear. As you rediscover yourself and your intuition, your path will become illuminated. You may never know exactly where your life is going, but your guidance will help you know which next step to take. Do not stand still based in fear. Charge forward fearlessly. Open up to endless possibilities. Once you make a clear decision, the Universe will answer and bring you everything you need along the way. Have faith, be fearless, be light.