Online Dating for the Sensitive Soul

Online dating can bring about high expectations for romance while usually delivering something more between a booty call and a wedding date. It’s really like a box of chocolates, and no matter how direct your profile is, or how clear your conversation is, you never really know what kind of date you are going to get. With that said, I do believe online dating has potential for something amazing. The biggest piece to grasp of online dating is maintaining inner peace amidst uncertainty. I wanted to share some tools I’ve learned as a sensitive person myself to bring peace throughout the process.

  1. Don’t hook up with your date right away. No matter how cute they are, how spiritual they claim to be, or how vegan they are, it doesn’t mean they are going to love you unconditionally, forever. As a sensitive person who understands everything is connected and everything is energy, you mustn’t exchange sexual energy with them without a commitment. As sensitive people, we will start feeling that unconditional bond that comes with closeness and not everyone feels that way with sex in this desensitized society. It’s sad, but we are surrounded by people who truly are incapable of feeling because of diet, or media exposure, or lifestyle. You can hook up if you must, but just be prepared to visit #5.
  2. Texting with someone over a period of time does not necessarily mean you are bonding at all. Seems weird, right? You’ve been getting good morning and goodnight texts for weeks, and they text you their yummy vegan meals, and let you know they are thinking about you. In your universe, this means something, right? In the world of online dating, there may be three other conversations going on similarly with multiple people. In the just-swipe-to-find-your-soulmate culture, instant gratification in the land of a million options to choose from is the name of the game. The only way to truly be sure they are feeling the same way is to regularly see each other in person.
  3. Trust your intuition. They said all the right things, even have a million coincidences with your life story, yet didn’t text you the next day? Red flags should not be ignored. Chances are they are not as sensitive as they portrayed, didn’t really catch any major feels no matter what they said, and are on date #2 for the weekend. People always present their best selves on dates and are not always as they seem. The red flag you ignored that didn’t feel right to you will ultimately be the reason you visit #5 later.
  4. Avoid narcissists playing games with your sensitivity. I once dated a guy who really hurt my feelings by not making plans for a second date. A few weeks later, he started blaming me for us not working out because I was still accepting dates with other guys. This took me for a loop. He actually had me feel bad for a behavior that was a logical response to his behavior of not reciprocating interest. Complicated, right? Turns out, he didn’t really want me anyway. He just wanted the power to control who I was dating or not dating like some kind of ego stroke. If someone is being heart-centered, they’d never shame you or guilt you into a behavior. Especially if they aren’t even observing that same behavior (ex. they get mad you still have Tinder dates, yet they are still active on Tinder). If someone is saying something contrary to your purest intentions, trust yourself over anyone else’s opinion and don’t let yourself get manipulated.
  5. Heartbreak is sometimes inevitable. You caught some feels while your date did not. You are a deeply feeling human and it’s okay. Heartbreak means you are on the path to finding what you truly want, and you are closer than ever now that you are no longer wasting time on the wrong person. Let yourself feel it, but don’t wallow too long. Meditate on the infinite abundance of the universe and realize true love won’t be denied to you when it’s right. Trust in the reason for the heartbreak and try again. Maybe you were just meant to touch their life for a moment and to move on to something more right for you. Retreat to yourself for awhile to keep your energy high, and try again. And try not to let the last guy’s mistake affect how you treat the next guy, who could be genuinely trying. 💚

Seems a little scary, right? You may be thinking why put myself through this at all? Trust me, goddess, I feel you. Life is busy and there’s a million things you can experience while you are here. It doesn’t have to necessarily be a romantic love experience at all to lead a fulfilled life. But I do know romantic love is one of the most euphoric experiences to have while you’re a human. A shot at a true partner to experience the magic of life with is worth it.

Realize that the ups and the downs, they are all here for a reason. The Universe would never let you go through a door that wasn’t yours to open. Trust the process. Trust the heartache. Even trust the sadness. The wrong ones will continue to be removed from your life one way or another. And with every door definitively shut, you are that much closer to finding the right one to finally walk through. Know this, and be at peace with it. Remember, sensitivity is a super power. And being able to love deeply and care about people you meet is the reason you’ll find romantic love this life. ✌🏼

Q&A: Stress and Anxiety Relief- Honoring Your Sensitivity

This past week, I received two separate questions on my Facebook from readers pertaining to the same topic. I have decided to include my responses on my blog, assuming many others may be dealing with stress and anxiety from our daily lives. Honoring your intuition and sensitivity will allow you to overcome these feelings and live a happier, healthier life.

Q: I have read really great things! I like the stuff you are interested in and the way you explain them. What really caught my eye is when you were talking about all the psychic senses, particularly the Clairvoyance part. The part that caught me was the high anxiety you felt, saying it was because you were ignoring your psychic abilities. Will you touch on that?

A: Absolutely. Even though I was very open minded to angelic beings and psychic abilities as a child, I found myself pushing spirituality aside in my early twenties to pursue a career in business, particularly insurance, which is a highly regulated industry. I found myself suppressing my true interests and intuition for a stable income.  

My anxiety was off the charts. I was never super anxious or stressed growing up, even in seemingly stressful situations, but putting my spirituality out of mind made things worse. I would find myself barely able to sleep at night, even after working a 12 hour day. I was always going over and over my day in my head and thinking about all I had to accomplish the next day. On weekends, the anxiety would still be there even when I was off work. I would blast a fan during all seasons to drown out any noises to occupy my mind, and to put myself asleep to the sound.

After talking to family and a counselor about my dissatisfaction feeling anxious, I tried a few mainstream approaches. I tried the prescription drug, Ativan, and hypnotherapy focusing on releasing anxiety from my life, but nothing seem to stick or last long. I found the Ativan didn’t really do anything. Later, after studying the Indigo generation, I have learned drugs like Aderral and Ativan flush out of an indigo body rapidly. After studying “Awakening Your Indigo Power”, a certification course by Charles Virtue, I realized being unaffected by drugs is an indigo trait. According to Charles, Heaven knew that the indigo spirit would be a shock to the current world and many would try to control a “rebellious” child by suppressing their divine guidance and emotions through narcotics. Because of this, drugs and chemicals leave our systems very quickly, and have little effect.

I realized when my mind was most reflective was at night, that is when spirit was often trying to communicate with me. One night, I felt a presence near my bed. I knew it was my dad. I said outloud, “Dad, I really appreciate you visiting me, but I really need to sleep, so please leave me alone right now.” I literally felt his presence leave the room. You can be in perfect control of your abilities, but when ignoring them you are not protecting yourself. You can control with who, where, and when you want to communicate. All you have to do is think or say a boundary aloud.

These experiences set me out on a journey to actively use my psychic abilities. During work, I should have been shielding myself from the negativity around me and clearing my workspace, and home of negative energy, as well as my chakras at nighttime before sleep. In my findings, I realized sensitive people often absorb energy from others. The energy of my fast paced, stressful insurance job would stay with me well after I left the office. It wasn’t until I consciously cleared each chakra point of negative energy before bed until I started sleeping regularly. The act of releasing the day’s events each night reduced my anxiety tremendously.

At night, you can ask angels to clear the room of any negative entities or energy. I would always call on Archangel Michael to shield me and ask angels to guard my home. I highly recommend the Chakra Clearing nighttime meditation by Doreen Virtue. The book is worth buying to better understand the chakras, however, the meditation is available for free on YouTube. I often burn incense and sage as well to bring in a higher vibrational atmosphere. Once I started getting in a routine, everything calmed down for me. When you are clearing yourself regularly, new spiritual insights come more easily and rapidly. 

Q: Hey Julie. Do you have any suggestions/insight into Palm/thumb stones? I’m looking for a stone to use at work, I have an extremely stressful job and it’s consuming my life (stress, negativity, etc). I’ve been doing P90X3 to burn off some stress, and trying to eat clean, but it’s not helping.

A: For calming, I really like blue calcite (blue crystal ball pictured). I have it in a crystal ball form and keep it in my room. Whenever I feel stressed, I like to hold it and it calms me down immediately. A metaphysical store should also have it in a thumb or palm form. It helps with developing psychic abilities and astral travel as well.

Also for negativity, I used to keep an amethyst (purple crystals pictured) on my desk at the insurance office. It is a protection stone and keeps the effects of negativity away from you on a vibrational level.

As a sensitive person it is important to ground yourself. You may feel really great in meditation, but that feeling will fade when you go back in your body during your day to day regimen.  Keeping black tourmaline (small black crystals pictured) around will help you to bring the higher dimensional vibrations to the Earthly plane.

Keeping rose quartz around your environment will bring a loving atmosphere, and often sets the intention for the other stones to bring in love energy when placed next to other crystals.

Certain smells can also be calming. I highly recommend lavender and chamomile like the spray pictured below. I also burned a lavender candle on my desk at work. The aroma put my customers in better moods as well.

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I hope this helps! If anyone has any other suggestions for what may have worked for you, please share in the comments! Namaste