Online Dating for the Sensitive Soul

Posted by Julie Tourangeau

Online dating can bring about high expectations for romance while usually delivering something more between a booty call and a wedding date. It’s really like a box of chocolates, and no matter how direct your profile is, or how clear your conversation is, you never really know what kind of date you are going to get. With that said, I do believe online dating has potential for something amazing. The biggest piece to grasp of online dating is maintaining inner peace amidst uncertainty. I wanted to share some tools I’ve learned as a sensitive person myself to bring peace throughout the process.

Don’t hook up with your date right away. No matter how cute they are, how spiritual they claim to be, or how vegan they are, it doesn’t mean they are going to love you unconditionally, forever. As a sensitive person who understands everything is connected and everything is energy, you mustn’t exchange sexual energy with them without a commitment. As sensitive people, we will start feeling that unconditional bond that comes with closeness and not everyone feels that way with sex in this desensitized society. It’s sad, but we are surrounded by people who truly are incapable of feeling because of diet, or media exposure, or lifestyle. You can hook up if you must, but just be prepared to visit #5.
Texting with someone over a period of time does not necessarily mean you are bonding at all. Seems weird, right? You’ve been getting good morning and goodnight texts for weeks, and they text you their yummy vegan meals, and let you know they are thinking about you. In your universe, this means something, right? In the world of online dating, there may be three other conversations going on similarly with multiple people. In the just-swipe-to-find-your-soulmate culture, instant gratification in the land of a million options to choose from is the name of the game. The only way to truly be sure they are feeling the same way is to regularly see each other in person.
Trust your intuition. They said all the right things, even have a million coincidences with your life story, yet didn’t text you the next day? Red flags should not be ignored. Chances are they are not as sensitive as they portrayed, didn’t really catch any major feels no matter what they said, and are on date #2 for the weekend. People always present their best selves on dates and are not always as they seem. The red flag you ignored that didn’t feel right to you will ultimately be the reason you visit #5 later.
Avoid narcissists playing games with your sensitivity. I once dated a guy who really hurt my feelings by not making plans for a second date. A few weeks later, he started blaming me for us not working out because I was still accepting dates with other guys. This took me for a loop. He actually had me feel bad for a behavior that was a logical response to his behavior of not reciprocating interest. Complicated, right? Turns out, he didn’t really want me anyway. He just wanted the power to control who I was dating or not dating like some kind of ego stroke. If someone is being heart-centered, they’d never shame you or guilt you into a behavior. Especially if they aren’t even observing that same behavior (ex. they get mad you still have Tinder dates, yet they are still active on Tinder). If someone is saying something contrary to your purest intentions, trust yourself over anyone else’s opinion and don’t let yourself get manipulated.
Heartbreak is sometimes inevitable. You caught some feels while your date did not. You are a deeply feeling human and it’s okay. Heartbreak means you are on the path to finding what you truly want, and you are closer than ever now that you are no longer wasting time on the wrong person. Let yourself feel it, but don’t wallow too long. Meditate on the infinite abundance of the universe and realize true love won’t be denied to you when it’s right. Trust in the reason for the heartbreak and try again. Maybe you were just meant to touch their life for a moment and to move on to something more right for you. Retreat to yourself for awhile to keep your energy high, and try again. And try not to let the last guy’s mistake affect how you treat the next guy, who could be genuinely trying. 💚

Seems a little scary, right? You may be thinking why put myself through this at all? Trust me, goddess, I feel you. Life is busy and there’s a million things you can experience while you are here. It doesn’t have to necessarily be a romantic love experience at all to lead a fulfilled life. But I do know romantic love is one of the most euphoric experiences to have while you’re a human. A shot at a true partner to experience the magic of life with is worth it.

Realize that the ups and the downs, they are all here for a reason. The Universe would never let you go through a door that wasn’t yours to open. Trust the process. Trust the heartache. Even trust the sadness. The wrong ones will continue to be removed from your life one way or another. And with every door definitively shut, you are that much closer to finding the right one to finally walk through. Know this, and be at peace with it. Remember, sensitivity is a super power. And being able to love deeply and care about people you meet is the reason you’ll find romantic love this life. ✌🏼

When the Unthinkable Happens: 5 Lessons from the Afterlife

Posted by Julie Tourangeau

Hearing about the death of a family member has triggered some deep reflection today. I think back to losing my dad, and how painful the funeral and family drama really was for me and my sibling. Dealing with a close death was probably one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to go through, and I did it at such a young age. At the same time, it has taught me so much more about myself, existence, and divine timing than I could have ever imagined. It’s easy when something traumatic happens in this third dimensional reality to focus on the physical absence. What’s beautiful has been to see my dad reach out to us through undeniable signs, famous mediums, and not-so-famous intuitives during the passed eight years. I chronicle these life changing experiences in my upcoming book.

There are a few life and afterlife lessons I have learned definitively that I want to share with those who are grieving today:

1. Death is completely physical. Consciousness survives the physical death of the body. I received confirmation upon confirmation of this fact. One of the most hair raising moments was when it sounded like my dad’s voice and personality was literally coming through Theresa Caputo, TLC’s The Long Island Medium. Furthermore, modern science is also explaining death is an illusion through quantum physics.

2. While no one ever really dies, their perspective changes to a metaphysical perspective. They no longer see existence from this third dimensional, human experience. Having this new bird’s eye view enables our loved ones to watch over us and work with angels to bring us signs, serving a new purpose in our lives as guardian angels.

3. No matter how abrupt or untimely the death of someone seems, all death is on divine time. Awakening to this fact requires faith and trust. Like all experiences in life, we have the free will choice to let the experience tear us apart or make us stronger than ever. Making positive interpretations of death brings us to the highest perspective, inviting the miraculous into our lives.

4. Speaking with our deceased loved ones is only a mental phone call away. While I didn’t always get an immediate reply, my dad always heard me and found ways to answer my questions. Know that they do see us, hear us, and know what we are going through.

5. Our loved ones find their loved ones who have passed on the other side. No one is ever really alone and separation is an illusion. One of the first things my dad let me know is that he found his brother, which I wrote about how I came to know this years ago in my blog post “All Gays Go to Heaven“.

These lessons have been learned through a lot of tears, and a lot of healing. My heart goes out to everyone going through losing a loved one. My intention is to share my experiences with the hope it brings comfort to those who feel lost. No one ever really dies, and death is not the end, just a doorway. We all eventually walk through that door. Love shared is eternal, and you will meet again.

Indigo Problems: Modern Dating

Posted by Julie Tourangeau

Our generation is full of fiery indigo spiritual warriors who want humanity to be free. Indigos stand up for injustice on such a passionate platform, no matter where the chips may fall. These characteristics, while admirable, don’t always translate well into the dating world. Commitment, devotion and loyalty may seem to be synonymous with wearing shackles, tethering yourself to another individual for the indigo. The indigo spirit shuns anything that seems to impose on personal freedoms, including being with someone which may seem to limit your freedom connecting with others.

Even those who are experiencing synchronicity with a potential mate may run into doubts and problems. Synchronicity is a term coined by psychologist Carl Jung. He recognized that meaningful coincidences exist in this world as confirmation from the universe. What helped me recognize meaningful coincidences as miraculous is actually having a business background. Once you study statistics, you realize that the chances of experiencing a string of profound coincidences are one in a billion. Albert Einstein believed that coincidence is God’s way of remaining anonymous. My experiences have confirmed that synchronicity is experiencing the most tangible presence of God in this third dimensional density. I see answers to my prayers come to me when I follow synchronicity. It’s here for everyone but because we have free will, we can choose to ignore it. We can choose to live without it. We can choose to turn our backs to the miraculous.

Why do people choose to ignore divine guidance? This topic could be an article all on it’s own, but the most simple answer is fear. Following synchronicity means you are trusting in a divine intelligence. Many people struggle to give up their need to control everything. Following divine guidance is a form of surrendering your ego. Letting go of the ego can be difficult, depending where you are at on your spiritual journey.

As an intuitive and former whistleblower, I strongly identify with indigo qualities. I, however, feel great freedom in love. Here’s why: to be unconditionally loved by someone is the greatest form of freedom you’ll ever know. To be yourself, unapologetically, and to still have someone love you unconditionally empowers you to just be you. Making that switch in my mind that love doesn’t mean you limit my choices, but love means you build upon and strengthen who I am, has made the difference in opening my heart to love.

We live in an abundant universe so never believe for a second that love will be denied. The most important thing you can do is to love yourself. Focus on things that inspire you. Follow your passions. Do things that interest you. These actions will lead you to people who also share similar passions. You’ll find that love you are looking for as soon as you call off the search. There is great freedom in love, and recognizing that fact will soothe even the most rebellious indigo soul.