When the Unthinkable Happens: 5 Lessons from the Afterlife 

Hearing about the death of a family member has triggered some deep reflection today. I think back to losing my dad, and how painful the funeral and family drama really was for me and my sibling. Dealing with a close death was probably one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to go through, and I did it at such a young age. At the same time, it has taught me so much more about myself, existence, and divine timing than I could have ever imagined. It’s easy when something traumatic happens in this third dimensional reality to focus on the physical absence. What’s beautiful has been to see my dad reach out to us through undeniable signs, famous mediums, and not-so-famous intuitives during the passed eight years. I chronicle these life changing experiences in my upcoming book. 

There are a few life and afterlife lessons I have learned definitively that I want to share with those who are grieving today: 

1. Death is completely physical. Consciousness survives the physical death of the body. I received confirmation upon confirmation of this fact. One of the most hair raising moments was when it sounded like my dad’s voice and personality was literally coming through Theresa Caputo, TLC’s The Long Island Medium. Furthermore, modern science is also explaining death is an illusion through quantum physics. 

2. While no one ever really dies, their perspective changes to a metaphysical perspective. They no longer see existence from this third dimensional, human experience. Having this new bird’s eye view enables our loved ones to watch over us and work with angels to bring us signs, serving a new purpose in our lives as guardian angels. 

3. No matter how abrupt or untimely the death of someone seems, all death is on divine time. Awakening to this fact requires faith and trust. Like all experiences in life, we have the free will choice to let the experience tear us apart or make us stronger than ever. Making positive interpretations of death brings us to the highest perspective, inviting the miraculous into our lives. 

4. Speaking with our deceased loved ones is only a mental phone call away. While I didn’t always get an immediate reply, my dad always heard me and found ways to answer my questions. Know that they do see us, hear us, and know what we are going through. 

5. Our loved ones find their loved ones who have passed on the other side. No one is ever really alone and separation is an illusion. One of the first things my dad let me know is that he found his brother, which I wrote about how I came to know this years ago in my blog post “All Gays Go to Heaven“. 

These lessons have been learned through a lot of tears, and a lot of healing. My heart goes out to everyone going through losing a loved one. My intention is to share my experiences with the hope it brings comfort to those who feel lost. No one ever really dies, and death is not the end, just a doorway. We all eventually walk through that door. Love shared is eternal, and you will meet again. 

Surrender Your Situation: That One Time I was Homeless


Not knowing your next move is such a magical place. It is in the unplanned moments that life blossoms. When we give our lives the flexibility to transform, when we make room for the universe to bring whatever it wishes into our lives, we open ourselves up to our highest potential. When we try to control every minute detail of our existence, we are doing ourselves a disservice. It is when we give up the need to control everything and trust in a divine intelligence that we invite divine manifestations into our lives. 

The most magical, interesting time of my life was the time I was homeless. My transition from the corporate insurance world was anything but smooth. Not many people realize that I actually found myself living in a motel in Detroit with two weiner dogs without a penny to my name or a job. I was the weirdo homeless person driving my things around in a financed BMW 545i. I was back and forth about leaving what turned into an abusive marriage, and found myself friendless and without familial support, whatsoever. When I had turned to the family and friends I once supported to help me with a deposit on a new apartment, they were done. They didn’t really know what to think of me. On one hand, the people of my life saw me experience some amazing things, like my dad contacting me via The Long Island Medium, Theresa Caputo. Some people did understand my passion for writing about my experiences and many of them saw my potential as a spiritual writer. Most people thought I was crazy throwing away my corporate career on new age writing. On the other hand, they saw me constantly seeing the positive in an abusive situation that I would not let go of. My mess was my mess and no one stood behind me as long as I stood with him. Everyone was tired of seeing me struggle and completely let me go at that time in my life. 

What is interesting is that “losing everything” brought me to exactly where I needed to go. It was in the most fearful moments of my life that I finally decided to surrender. I knew consciousness survived physical death. I knew angels were all around me. What I struggled with was giving up my own control to that of divine guidance. 

I spent about a week in a motel calling every apartment complex I knew of in Oakland County. I was constantly being turned down. Without a job, landlords didn’t want to take a chance on me. It was tempting to lie and say I still sold insurance, but I knew in my gut I would eventually find the perfect place being perfectly honest. I kept my faith during impossible odds. Things were getting desperate. I was down to the last little bit of money I had saved and could only afford one more night in the motel.

I was sitting in a bar using free wifi to search places when I got a call back from a landlord in northern Oakland County. I remember taking down the address. The street number was “144”, which is a powerful angel number. Repeating 4’s is the angels’ way of bringing your attention to their presence. When I met the landlord at the apartment, I told him my story and my vision for my life. I unapologetically spoke of angels and what happens to our loved ones when they leave us. I spoke about the book I wanted to write and how I wanted to help people who were grieving to know that no one ever really dies. The landlord happened to be a religious man with a passion for the spiritual. He let me sign a lease that day and move in immediately. The location of this apartment spurred my way into the natural foods industry. It just so happened to be located near a 40-year-old health store that was hiring. I walked to work to a health food store by day and wrote my book by night. It was there I learned so much knowledge about holistic living that has served me so well and has helped me serve others. That industry brought an army of spiritual warriors around me who also have had similar experiences. I had to shed the friends who didn’t understand, and that hurt, but it was worth it. It was through these experiences that I met my soul group. I met my tribe.

If I had the power to outline my life as I saw fit back then, I could never have envisioned how amazing things actually worked out. We must remember that our finite human minds may not understand what is happening in the bigger picture, but the infinite has already worked out something miraculous. Trusting the universe is not always easy. Sometimes giving into fear is easier in the moment. When we do decide to let go, and be honest and keep putting one foot in front of the other, things have a way of working out in your favor. I trust in the miraculous. I trust that things always work out for the best. As I get older, I trust it even more. My spiritual team on the other side always has my back, and I am never alone. I truly hope my story inspires you to start trusting the same truth, as it is here for everyone.  You must always trust in the miraculous, darling. 

The Curious Mystery of the Missing Crystal

I had been wearing the same amethyst around my neck for the better part of a couple years. About a month ago, a random woman came up to me and told me she could see Archangel Michael behind me and that I am always protected. She made a comment that I don’t really need my necklace. I instantly knew she was referring to the amethyst I had chosen to wear for protection. I was elated to get a message like that on a day I had been seeing a lot of Angel Numbers, and deeply felt it was genuine and heartfelt. Even with such a beautiful message, I didn’t want to part with the crystal I had become so partial to wearing. I eventually bought a new crystal, a rose quartz, meant as a replacement, but still couldn’t bring myself to separate the amethyst from my necklace. 

Last week, I noticed the crystal was missing from my necklace before I went to bed. Retracing my steps seemed impossible since it was lost on my day off and I had ran a bunch of errands all over the place. I really wanted to know what had come of it. More importantly, I didn’t want this loss to be a waste. Instead of being completely bummed about it, I said a little prayer that someone who needs it will find it, and hoped for the best. 

A few days later, a coworker of mine, who I will call Sandy, stopped by my desk and started telling me about how she just came inside from her work break. Sandy was sitting in her car reading articles on the Internet about celebrities that carry crystals. This sparked an interest in her that lead her to research crystals to help herself. She realized she wanted to purchase an amethyst for a particular concern she had that very morning. As she came to this realization towards the end of her break, she opened her door and stepped outside to feel something break beneath her foot. She extended her hand at this point in the story to show me a broken amethyst. But it wasn’t just any amethyst. 

“That’s my crystal!” I exclaimed, in utter disbelief. I proceeded to tell Sandy about the woman who came up to me randomly saying that I don’t need my necklace, and how it came to be missing. It was bizarre that it happened to drop in my work’s parking lot to begin with since I had literally only stopped there in an area I never really even park in for a moment on my day off.

It was clear through such a synchronistic series of events that the crystal was meant for Sandy. We both had goosebumps and exchanged a series of excited statements. However, we were both slightly concerned it was broken, and started researching interpretations of the meanings behind broken crystals. The first site that we opened said that when a crystal is broken, it can mean it’s work with you is done and it is a sign to gift it to someone else who needs it. The fact it broke and the way it broke made me feel even better about letting it go. Sandy now keeps the crystal pieces in her pocket daily as she is working on a healing.


It was such an auspicious day from the start, even before Sandy happened to stop and talk to me, particularly, instead of the dozens of people working around us. The moon was full, and I kept seeing even more angel numbers than usual. It was like a heightened intuition had come over everyone with whom I came in contact. A different coworker happened to give me my work break at 4:44, which means angels are all around you. When everyone works together to bring each other signs and messages without even trying, it just shows how connected we all are. As for the missing crystal, it was never really missing at all, just repurposed for a greater need. 

Above All Things, This Story is About Love

  

About ten years ago, I received numerous mixed burnt CDs from my friend Jeff, whom I called Christian, and he called me Mercedes. Jeff and I were very close and had tons of great memories getting ready for a night out or dancing in the car to the music he made us. In 2008, when I bought the iPod I still have now, I uploaded all of these music files and named the ones I recognized. There was an amazing instrumental that speeds up the tempo as the song goes on. It is mesmerizing. I didn’t recognize it, so I saved the artist under “Ask Jeff Feys”. I always meant to ask him what this instrumental was from, but unfortunately never found out. 
  

Friday night, I decided to put something on I hadn’t seen in awhile. I put on the movie Moulin Rouge. It had probably been about 5 years since I watched it, so I am not sure why I decided to put it on Friday. The movie embodies the bohemian lifestyle, upholding the values Truth, Beauty, Freedom and Love. It is something that has resonated with me since I was in middle school. The movie ends in tragedy, however, the message is clear. “The greatest thing you will ever learn is just to love, and be loved in return.” Even though the main character, Satine, dies tragically, she definitely was able to love and be loved before she died. Even though she dies, she was able to learn the greatest lesson there is to learn in life. 

I sat through the movie and cried like I usually would. The ending credits came on, and I sat on my couch with my dog, Reesie, not wanting to get up quite yet. To my surprise, a familiar song that had eluded me for years came on during the ending credits of the movie. Yes, it was the “Ask Jeff Feys” instrumental from my iPod. I found myself very happy and smiling that the mystery was finally solved. I recalled Jeff loving this movie, so it made sense. I was surprised I hadn’t stopped to listen to the credits before. 

The next day, I logged onto Facebook, about to tell him about the song. To my devastation, I found out he had passed the night before. Jeff had tragically died by being hit by a car when he was crossing the street in Warren, Michigan. I spent my 4th of July thinking about Jeff all day. Part of me felt guilty that we hadn’t spoke much lately outside of Facebook. The other part of me laughed and giggled at all of our ridiculous memories together as I listened to old mixed CDs he gave me with hilariously inappropriate titles, like “Cupcake for Mr. and Mrs. Titface”. Jeff was one of the brightest people I ever knew. I know people say that about people who passed all the time, but Jeff was different. Jeff truly lit up a room with his larger than life personality and presence. He was one of the funniest people I knew. He was greatly loved, and he cared so much for other people. 
  

He personally helped me find myself after I graduated high school. I ended a 4 year relationship, and Jeff was right there with me, filling my days with laughter and uplifting memories. I recall working on a song with my vocal coach at a music college I attended. She taught me to bring more emotion to the song I was singing by telling me to think of the most upbeat, energetic person I knew. It worked like a charm because I knew the perfect person to channel. That person was Jeff. 
  

Now that the initial shock has worn off, I am left to reflect about the events from this past weekend. It was extremely auspicious to me that the mystery song he gave me was solved hours within his passing. I can’t help but feel he made sure to answer the question I had on my IPod for years the night he left us. I found out the song was put at the end of the movie to lift the viewers’ mood after witnessing such a tragic end for Satine. This is why the tempo starts slow and speeds up at the end. I see so many parallels between the lesson from the movie and the lesson of Jeff’s life. I do not believe this was a mere coincidence. He died way too young, and very tragically. To be hit by a car crossing the street is not the way Jeff ever expected to go, I’m sure. I keep coming back to the message in the movie and how it can also relate to Jeff’s life: the greatest thing you will ever learn is to love and be loved in return. Jeff was undoubtedly loved. He was deeply loved and will be missed dearly. I definitely believe he learned how to love and be loved in his short lifetime, more than most. That’s the silver lining in all of this. 

I love you, Jeffrey. 

Rest in Peace. 

  
1986-2015 

Spring Equinox 2015: A Solar Eclipse Super New Moon 

 
This Friday, March 20th, is a very rare event in astrology. We will be experiencing a total solar eclipse. According the Edgar Cayce’s A.R.E. Blog, the solar eclipse will be in the very last moments of pisces, which has to do with our emotions. The moon will be passing through the Earth and the sun, which will be visible in parts of Europe and Africa. The solar eclipses of the past have been used in astrology for manifestation between the event and the next full moon. What makes this solar eclipse unique is that the moon is not only a new moon, but a Super New Moon, meaning the moon is at its closest orbit to Earth. Manifestation abilities will be dramatically heightened, so make sure to keep your thoughts at their highest levels. 

What takes this event to the next noteworthy level is that this all happens to fall on the Spring Equinox. The Spring Equinox has been celebrated in human history as a time of increased light, abundance, enlightenment, and healing. From Christianity, to Wiccan tradition, the Spring Equinox is prevalent in many religions, holidays and traditions (See The Goddesses of Easter: Ostara vs Ishtar). The spring equinox is a time honored tradition that shifts previously stagnant energy from the winter, into a time of movement specifically abundance, fertility, and increased light. Scientifically speaking, our days will be full of more sunlight. 



This event will not only affect us energetically on the individual level, but also as a collective. Any obstacles that have been in the way during the winter months will be removed. Our emotions will give us insights on what hasn’t been working for us. Anything negative will be washed away and replaced with something positive, as long as we are willing to let go of what has been holding us back. Take inventory of what’s no longer serving you. This is the perfect time for a spiritual spring cleaning. 

This is a time to reflect on our desires, and how we can best help the planet as a whole. The desire to manifest events to help others will be rewarded at this time. Increased light will bring through our benevolent Angels and guides, who wish to help us with these changes. The effects of this event energetically will be continuing for months ahead. Take a moment this Friday to close your eyes, and envision this planet within a vibration of peace and serenity. Anything that will help you along your path of extending peace to others is something you should set your intention on manifesting. Happy Solar Eclipse, Super Moon, and Spring Equinox Day! 

Romance Angel Card Reading February 14, 2015

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Pulling a card for everyone on Valentine’s Day from the romance angel card deck seems appropriate. Honeymoon can mean reigniting a flame on a holiday or a vacation. For someone who is single, this card could mean you could meet someone special soon on a significant holiday. The honeymoon card denotes your love life is ascending surrounding a significant holiday or trip. “Enjoy the bliss of holiday time together”.

Tales of a Spiritually-Closeted Socialite

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Growing up, it was common knowledge for me that we had past lives, angels were real, and our loved ones never truly left us. My mom often taught my sister and I about angels and how to ask for help. We were taught to shield ourselves with white light. If we needed help with anything, we were taught to say “on Angels’ wings…”, something that my sister got tattooed as an adult. As I got older, these beliefs became internal and less acknowledged in everyday interactions. I often explained why I was a vegetarian to people, because I believed humans and animals come from the same source, but I never got much more into it than that.

My dad passed away a month before my 21st birthday. What is an American college girl to do to get over her grief? I started going out… a lot. I was the girl who orchestrated nights out, limos, and townhouse parties. As my social network grew, I often threw VIP parties at local bars, and organized themed parties at my place. I filled my grief with friends and vodka. I didn’t care if you were gay, straight, considered an outcast in high school, or what your background was. I knew life can be hard and that everyone deserved a good time. I feel that’s why so many different kinds of people were friendly with me. If you were the odd one out because you couldn’t afford to come, I would pay. If you needed a ride, I would drive. If you wanted a place to crash, I would accommodate. I loved bringing different people together and having a good time. My little pockets of friends became one big circle. I never wanted the party to end. While I delved deeper into the social scene in southeast Michigan, and made friends around my college, I also started receiving signs and messages from my father through psychics and tangible signs at synchronistic moments, which wasn’t the lightest party subject. I kept a lot of my experiences to myself for awhile. I would go out with metaphysical crystals in my purse, and an angel wing around my neck, all the while feeling a little bit like a hypocrite and not completely myself.

Through my journey I realized my most dramatic signs were experienced while sober. My biggest breakthroughs happened when I gave up drinking. I made a promise to myself to do whatever it took to take care of myself and help my intuition. I started using natural beauty products, gave up drinking, drank lots of fruit smoothies, and ate lots of healthful veggies and fruits (See video: 5 Steps to Develop Psychic Awareness). Signs were coming to me all the time, but I often missed my friends.

While most of my “party” friends lost interest in me when I stopped going out, I hung on to a few. For the sake of privacy, we will be calling my best friend, Miles. Miles and I loved going to a gay bar named Pronto in Royal Oak for Karaoke night. I remember deciding to go out again for the first time since I promised myself to take better care of myself. It would be my first sober night at this particular place.

Miles and I made our way over to the bartenders, who knew our names. I ordered a lemonade instead of my usual raspberry stoli and lemonade. The music was loud and the place was only mildly busy. We stood next to the bar, avoiding blocking others who wanted to walk up for a drink.

I started telling Miles about the increase in signs I had been getting. He knew I had experienced numerology signs, but it was evolving (See video: Signs from Heaven Using Numerology).

“It’s more than just repeating numbers now at weird times. It’s been feathers and pennies lately,” I said loudly over the music. ” I will be thinking about my dad or Angels and I will see a penny in a weird place or a feather will come into my view at that moment.”

While I was looking at Miles, I felt as if something dropped on my right foot. I looked down to see a penny facing up on my black, knee-high boot.

“Umm, are you serious right now?” I exclaimed to my friend. “Did you drop that?”

“No,” Miles answered as he held his drink.

We both looked around. There wasn’t anyone next to us or any sign of someone passing by. At that moment, we both looked up as if it fell from the sky and laughed. Miles had this contagious, goofy laugh everyone loved to mimic. The old bar ceiling was painted a dark color and had patterns that suggested it was built a century ago. It had no logical place a penny could have fallen from.

“That’s really weird,” Miles said, still laughing.

I couldn’t help but smile. I was elated at the sight of a sign right on cue.

“See what I mean! There are even Angels with us right here in the gay bar!” I said, excitedly.

Those moments taught me that the divine is everywhere with everyone, no exceptions. The absence of the divine is just perception from man and is a fallacy. Even in a late night bar with drunken people, the divine is there. No one is excluded. No moment is excluded. It took a night out in a different state of mind to marry my two experiences of life: a party girl, and a spiritual practitioner. Perception is everything.