Online Dating for the Sensitive Soul

Online dating can bring about high expectations for romance while usually delivering something more between a booty call and a wedding date. It’s really like a box of chocolates, and no matter how direct your profile is, or how clear your conversation is, you never really know what kind of date you are going to get. With that said, I do believe online dating has potential for something amazing. The biggest piece to grasp of online dating is maintaining inner peace amidst uncertainty. I wanted to share some tools I’ve learned as a sensitive person myself to bring peace throughout the process.

  1. Don’t hook up with your date right away. No matter how cute they are, how spiritual they claim to be, or how vegan they are, it doesn’t mean they are going to love you unconditionally, forever. As a sensitive person who understands everything is connected and everything is energy, you mustn’t exchange sexual energy with them without a commitment. As sensitive people, we will start feeling that unconditional bond that comes with closeness and not everyone feels that way with sex in this desensitized society. It’s sad, but we are surrounded by people who truly are incapable of feeling because of diet, or media exposure, or lifestyle. You can hook up if you must, but just be prepared to visit #5.
  2. Texting with someone over a period of time does not necessarily mean you are bonding at all. Seems weird, right? You’ve been getting good morning and goodnight texts for weeks, and they text you their yummy vegan meals, and let you know they are thinking about you. In your universe, this means something, right? In the world of online dating, there may be three other conversations going on similarly with multiple people. In the just-swipe-to-find-your-soulmate culture, instant gratification in the land of a million options to choose from is the name of the game. The only way to truly be sure they are feeling the same way is to regularly see each other in person.
  3. Trust your intuition. They said all the right things, even have a million coincidences with your life story, yet didn’t text you the next day? Red flags should not be ignored. Chances are they are not as sensitive as they portrayed, didn’t really catch any major feels no matter what they said, and are on date #2 for the weekend. People always present their best selves on dates and are not always as they seem. The red flag you ignored that didn’t feel right to you will ultimately be the reason you visit #5 later.
  4. Avoid narcissists playing games with your sensitivity. I once dated a guy who really hurt my feelings by not making plans for a second date. A few weeks later, he started blaming me for us not working out because I was still accepting dates with other guys. This took me for a loop. He actually had me feel bad for a behavior that was a logical response to his behavior of not reciprocating interest. Complicated, right? Turns out, he didn’t really want me anyway. He just wanted the power to control who I was dating or not dating like some kind of ego stroke. If someone is being heart-centered, they’d never shame you or guilt you into a behavior. Especially if they aren’t even observing that same behavior (ex. they get mad you still have Tinder dates, yet they are still active on Tinder). If someone is saying something contrary to your purest intentions, trust yourself over anyone else’s opinion and don’t let yourself get manipulated.
  5. Heartbreak is sometimes inevitable. You caught some feels while your date did not. You are a deeply feeling human and it’s okay. Heartbreak means you are on the path to finding what you truly want, and you are closer than ever now that you are no longer wasting time on the wrong person. Let yourself feel it, but don’t wallow too long. Meditate on the infinite abundance of the universe and realize true love won’t be denied to you when it’s right. Trust in the reason for the heartbreak and try again. Maybe you were just meant to touch their life for a moment and to move on to something more right for you. Retreat to yourself for awhile to keep your energy high, and try again. And try not to let the last guy’s mistake affect how you treat the next guy, who could be genuinely trying. 💚

Seems a little scary, right? You may be thinking why put myself through this at all? Trust me, goddess, I feel you. Life is busy and there’s a million things you can experience while you are here. It doesn’t have to necessarily be a romantic love experience at all to lead a fulfilled life. But I do know romantic love is one of the most euphoric experiences to have while you’re a human. A shot at a true partner to experience the magic of life with is worth it.

Realize that the ups and the downs, they are all here for a reason. The Universe would never let you go through a door that wasn’t yours to open. Trust the process. Trust the heartache. Even trust the sadness. The wrong ones will continue to be removed from your life one way or another. And with every door definitively shut, you are that much closer to finding the right one to finally walk through. Know this, and be at peace with it. Remember, sensitivity is a super power. And being able to love deeply and care about people you meet is the reason you’ll find romantic love this life. ✌🏼

Soulmates, Twin Flames, and Lessons: How Do We Know?


Soulmates, twin flames, and lessons: how do we know? And more importantly, how can we manifest these unions? It’s taken a lot of love and a lot of loss for me to gain some clarity on romance for the spiritually-minded goddess. When you have developed your intuition and empathy over the years, when you do finally meet someone who lights you up, your love is intense, the signs will come flying, and you may find yourself overcome with passion for that individual. The difficult balance is communicating these intense feelings without scaring off your potential partner. The beautiful news is that like attracts like, and the person you are connecting with has likely seen the synchronistic moments, felt your loving presence, and also has some type of passion for you as well. The interesting question on my mind is what if the other person hasn’t quite mastered their intuition or opened their heart fully? The impatience sets in when you realize union between two flames can only happen once both people are tuned in to their divine guidance and loving themselves completely. Only then will you be ready to love each other in such a deeply conscious way. 

The magical element to attraction is that every person sent to you is meant to teach you something. You may go through years of failed attempts at love and then finally meet someone who makes you realize the divine timing behind it all. That kind of bliss will help you recognize that all the trials and tribulations were worth it. 
Confusion may set in if the relationship feels familiar– like you’ve known them before. A sense of deja vu can denote a prior lifetime together. These types of relationships often come with karmic baggage that need to be recognized, worked through, and healed. Many people incarnate together over lifetimes because they are part of the same soul group, or soulmates. They can even be family members or friends, not just romantic partners. These relationships are not always rainbows and butterflies. Soulmates help each other grow and transform, which can sometimes be painful. Soulmate relationships can also manifest joy, abundance, and playfulness. The wide spectrum of communication, from deeply concerning topics to blissful days of love and laughter, will keep these soulmates anything but bored. They could spend hours together and still have a lot to talk about. Other days, they could sit in silence and still understand what the other is feeling based on feeling their vibe. Since you’ve known each other through many physical densities, the soul is the one constant connection. And feeling a connection with someone on that level will bring many ethereal ideas and energies into the physical.

We live in a very interesting time of life. The Earth is transmuting old stagnant energies into a golden age. In preparation of that, many people are coming into union with their twin flame. A twin flame is like a soulmate, and can have very similar vibes, but these relationships are more intense. Why? Because a twin flame is literally your parallel soul. Many clairvoyants say that twin flames come into union during their last lifetimes on Earth, once they are the most spiritually evolved through lifetimes of learning. When twins meet each other, they will find a lot of similarities between them even though they have never physically met before. They will find themselves drawn to one another for some reason. That’s because they have been joined in the 5th dimension way before either of them incarnated here. Their lives may share a lot of parallels. They may have similar ancestry, share similar childhood experiences, maybe they’ve even had the same family pets, or come into a lot of money, and lost it all supporting their families at similar times. Maybe they even eat similarly no matter how strange the diet is in terms of societal norms. Maybe there’s a telepathic element there where you seem to be listening to the same songs, or feeling each other’s feelings even without saying a word. I’m speaking from experience. When twins come together, their energy is joyful yet intense. Their childlike humor and sense of adventure makes everyone around them feel happy. They help each other grow and challenge each other like soulmates do, but a twin also comes with many keys of happiness the other needs and vice versa. When twin flames come into union, it’s a huge blessing to not only themselves, but the world. We live in a world of free will choices though and twins and soulmates may choose to experience relationships with other people. When that happens, your 5th dimensional self often knows the divine timing behind why you are separated from your twin, even though your 3rd dimensional self may not fully understand. Everything happens for a reason, even if our finite human minds may not comprehend the reasoning. The point is though, once they come into contact, they are both forever changed. 

While the intensity of these relationships have the potential to rock your world, they also have the potential to heal your world. It’s about which mind you and your soulmate are feeding: one of fear or one of love. We live in a free world so the decision is yours. The beautiful thing is that there is never a wrong decision. Either way, you will learn. Keep in mind that love experienced between two beings is just recognition of the source within another person. This is always within you. You do not need a twin or a soulmate to feel the loving energy of the universe. However, having someone to channel those higher dimensional energies with does bring many additional blessings to this planet. When we send each other love, it builds. 

If you desire to manifest a relationship like this, the best thing you can do is to decide to love yourself. When you work on becoming your greatest version and following your bliss, you’ll attract the higher self of someone else who is also coming into their own. Furthermore, doing things that you are passionate about will lead you to places where others are also passionate about similar things. It’s there that you’ll meet your soul group, your tribe. If you think you’ve met this person, heart to heart conversations are key. Keeping information is literally keeping someone in the dark. Shed light on how you are feeling. Also, buckle up, buttercup. There are many stages twins go through before coming into union. While the fairytale stage is blissful, the turmoil of purging any fears stage, and the runner and the chaser stage is not for the weak of heart. If it’s meant to be, it will happen. Let it go and see what comes back. It is in the moments we stop looking that it comes to fruition. ✨

Bitch! A Love Story- No lies, no regrets, just love.

Life does not always go as planned. In fact, the one thing that you can rely on in life is change. It is how you handle the changes you experience that keeps you in the flow of life. Being in the flow means that doors open for you. Signs flow to you. You are constantly focusing on the silver lining to attain the inner peace you seek. The world may seem crazy. The world may sometimes seem cold. This is why it is so important to look at those around you through the eyes of compassion.

I have been lied to, manipulated, raped, dragged through court, and really treated badly. It would have been easy to remain bitter, but I continuously look to the future, and know that my best days are always ahead of me, while also enjoying the ride. I have found that when I am happy, some people love to rain on my parade. I usually cut ties with people who rain on my parade, but sometimes, if its family, you have to learn how to live with it. Detaching yourself from the opinions of others is critical. My favorite mantra is to never live your life for people who are determined to misunderstanding you. I may always rub certain people the wrong way, but to not let it affect my peace of mind is truly bliss. Trusting that the Universe will support you is key to letting go.

I will never forget finding my soul mate. He walked through my door and he hit me like a ton of bricks. He stayed over and never left. I remember spending a lifetime with him already and cherished everyday we spent together in this life. The time we spent in each other’s presence truly felt like he loved me back to life. My spiritual gifts woke up. I had them as a child and got away from it. Everything came back to me in full swing, the strongest it had ever been. I am writing about this love story in great detail in my upcoming book “Bitch! A Love Story.”

When he proposed, it was in a pyramid hotel in Las Vegas on New Years Eve. It was magical. I was elated, running around town like I had found my happily ever after. The vultures came soon. Not a single person in my family was happy for us. I could not believe it. I had to schedule an appointment with a psychic because I am so humble that I never wanted to believe that the hostility from others was out of jealousy. I didn’t tell the psychic a word and she said all I needed to know.

When everyone was completely against our marriage, we chose to elope on a random Monday in January. We found this cute little wedding place an hour away. We arrived there to find the lady performing the ceremony in traditional Chinese garb. I was confused, but happy to say the least. Our ceremony consisted of her ringing bells and chimes in between vows and promises. He placed a ring on my finger and I felt a surge of energy go up and down our arms. We both looked into each other’s eyes, and I knew instantly he had felt it, too. It was pure… magic.

At the end of the ceremony, we signed the paperwork. The lady who performed the ceremony made a comment about how it was very nice that we decided to get married on Chinese New Year. We both looked at her confused. She then realized we didn’t plan it. She looked astonished. “Today is Chinese New Year and today the year turned from Julie’s sign’s year, to Kevin’s sign’s year, the year of the dragon. I thought you planned this.”

My mouth dropped. I didn’t know it then, but that day was the start of a series of synchronistic events that lead me here. That day was well before I knew much about numerology. Our anniversary date is 1.23.12. Ascending numbers is a direct sign from spirit guides that your thoughts and actions are progressive. That day was the first day I ever said “screw you” to those trying to talk me out of following my heart. I have been following my heart ever since.

It has been a roller coaster and my life is far from perfect. I can’t control other people’s free will choices, even my soul-mate’s. I have to be honest and say drugs had gotten in the way of our relationship for awhile. It has taken him quite some time to overcome this. This comes from masking a hurt, a wound, from everyone who doesn’t believe in him. I have a role in that. Its easy to let other people take you off the course. This is why it is so important to me to teach clean psychic awareness development. Things happen for a reason. I wouldn’t trade any of my experiences for the world. I am wiser, I am loved, and I love. I am better for it in every way. I feel more alive than I have ever been. I pray that everyone can find this kind of love and happiness in this lifetime. I truly have no regrets. Every experience has made me the person I am today. I truly believe that whatever is meant to be will find a way to happen. Follow your intuition, and most importantly, follow your heart always. Everyone has a divine life purpose waiting to be answered. Let your story unfold. Namaste. Image