Online Dating for the Sensitive Soul

Online dating can bring about high expectations for romance while usually delivering something more between a booty call and a wedding date. It’s really like a box of chocolates, and no matter how direct your profile is, or how clear your conversation is, you never really know what kind of date you are going to get. With that said, I do believe online dating has potential for something amazing. The biggest piece to grasp of online dating is maintaining inner peace amidst uncertainty. I wanted to share some tools I’ve learned as a sensitive person myself to bring peace throughout the process.

  1. Don’t hook up with your date right away. No matter how cute they are, how spiritual they claim to be, or how vegan they are, it doesn’t mean they are going to love you unconditionally, forever. As a sensitive person who understands everything is connected and everything is energy, you mustn’t exchange sexual energy with them without a commitment. As sensitive people, we will start feeling that unconditional bond that comes with closeness and not everyone feels that way with sex in this desensitized society. It’s sad, but we are surrounded by people who truly are incapable of feeling because of diet, or media exposure, or lifestyle. You can hook up if you must, but just be prepared to visit #5.
  2. Texting with someone over a period of time does not necessarily mean you are bonding at all. Seems weird, right? You’ve been getting good morning and goodnight texts for weeks, and they text you their yummy vegan meals, and let you know they are thinking about you. In your universe, this means something, right? In the world of online dating, there may be three other conversations going on similarly with multiple people. In the just-swipe-to-find-your-soulmate culture, instant gratification in the land of a million options to choose from is the name of the game. The only way to truly be sure they are feeling the same way is to regularly see each other in person.
  3. Trust your intuition. They said all the right things, even have a million coincidences with your life story, yet didn’t text you the next day? Red flags should not be ignored. Chances are they are not as sensitive as they portrayed, didn’t really catch any major feels no matter what they said, and are on date #2 for the weekend. People always present their best selves on dates and are not always as they seem. The red flag you ignored that didn’t feel right to you will ultimately be the reason you visit #5 later.
  4. Avoid narcissists playing games with your sensitivity. I once dated a guy who really hurt my feelings by not making plans for a second date. A few weeks later, he started blaming me for us not working out because I was still accepting dates with other guys. This took me for a loop. He actually had me feel bad for a behavior that was a logical response to his behavior of not reciprocating interest. Complicated, right? Turns out, he didn’t really want me anyway. He just wanted the power to control who I was dating or not dating like some kind of ego stroke. If someone is being heart-centered, they’d never shame you or guilt you into a behavior. Especially if they aren’t even observing that same behavior (ex. they get mad you still have Tinder dates, yet they are still active on Tinder). If someone is saying something contrary to your purest intentions, trust yourself over anyone else’s opinion and don’t let yourself get manipulated.
  5. Heartbreak is sometimes inevitable. You caught some feels while your date did not. You are a deeply feeling human and it’s okay. Heartbreak means you are on the path to finding what you truly want, and you are closer than ever now that you are no longer wasting time on the wrong person. Let yourself feel it, but don’t wallow too long. Meditate on the infinite abundance of the universe and realize true love won’t be denied to you when it’s right. Trust in the reason for the heartbreak and try again. Maybe you were just meant to touch their life for a moment and to move on to something more right for you. Retreat to yourself for awhile to keep your energy high, and try again. And try not to let the last guy’s mistake affect how you treat the next guy, who could be genuinely trying. 💚

Seems a little scary, right? You may be thinking why put myself through this at all? Trust me, goddess, I feel you. Life is busy and there’s a million things you can experience while you are here. It doesn’t have to necessarily be a romantic love experience at all to lead a fulfilled life. But I do know romantic love is one of the most euphoric experiences to have while you’re a human. A shot at a true partner to experience the magic of life with is worth it.

Realize that the ups and the downs, they are all here for a reason. The Universe would never let you go through a door that wasn’t yours to open. Trust the process. Trust the heartache. Even trust the sadness. The wrong ones will continue to be removed from your life one way or another. And with every door definitively shut, you are that much closer to finding the right one to finally walk through. Know this, and be at peace with it. Remember, sensitivity is a super power. And being able to love deeply and care about people you meet is the reason you’ll find romantic love this life. ✌🏼

The Twin Flame Conundrum

I never really fully understood what the spiritual community meant by a “twin flame” and I confused the term for a soulmate for a really long time. I’m finding the people who truly meet their twin flames are those who dare to live with passion and purpose, despite impossible odds. The desire to live your fullest life that helps others will set your life in motion to meet them. The events that lead to meet them may be heart wrenching and difficult, but it was the Universe doing you a kindness to redirect your life perfectly. Twin flames are literally a part of your soul with a shared purpose, and are the most incredible mirror of your self. Everything about you will be amplified. The meeting of twin flames is so intense, both are changed forever. Sometimes the meeting is brief. But more likely, it’s a string of events that can be described as a roller coaster, a push and pull, a magnet that both attracts and repels. It will leave your friends and family questioning, and your brain second guessing. But your heart will always know and be set on this person.

I find that most people don’t even meet their twin flames and lead perfectly fulfilling lives with their soulmate or karmic relationship. Some people meet their twin flames and never actually marry them. The relationship is so intense, that it’s difficult to maintain in this 3dimensional reality. Both partners need to constantly release negativity and work on themselves to even hope to be together. A twin is your mirror, and while it can mirror the most heavenly love back to you, it can also mirror every insecurity, and every dark place you still hold in the back of your consciousness.

How do you know if you met your twin flame? I can only really speak to my own experience. You will instantly recognize them as someone significant, because it will be in perfect, divine timing. For me, I always see repeating 4’s during significant times, and the first time I learned the name of mine, I also saw his phone number ending in 444. You’ll meet your twin flame with such a small decision that could have gone either way. Then one day you’ll realize it was always meant to happen. They will share life experiences that you yourself have gone through that you didn’t think was possible to be shared with another human. You may listen to the same music, or have the same type of dogs, or share the same beliefs. My twin flame and I both lost 100 lbs, and left really unhealthy lifestyles around the same year. He also came into and lost a lot of money the same years I did, supporting our family and friends. When I first walked into my twin flame’s apartment, it looked exactly like my first apartment from the color on the walls, to the dream catchers displayed in the same weird way, to the same products and the same vibes. You can probably find yourself around their kitchen, and every single thing will be in the same spot, down to the same exact glass cutting board you both purchased. You may even both share the same random first concert, and it could be a band that often sings about love and intuition, and a higher power, even if they aren’t popular anymore. You may also both question yourself in similar ways, and have the deepest empathy you’ve ever felt for another human. If they are having a bad day, you can feel it, even hundreds of miles away.

When you are together, either everything will line up and fall together in the most magical, synchronistic way, or it can be a series of unfortunate events. You both manifest so strongly together that your focus of your thoughts will attract your reality and experiences for the day. This is by design, to manifest a big purpose together. Here in lies the twin flame conundrum. You and your twin flame truly have to master yourselves to make sure you are both manifesting the beautiful things you both deserve, versus the hell your darker parts try to make you believe you deserve. This was a hard one for me to recognize as someone who has grown so much and overcame some really testing situations. If your twin flame is struggling to love themselves enough to overcome their past, you also have more work to do. If your twin flame is still punishing themselves for past mistakes, instead of living in the moment, then you are too. Your twin is literally your perfect mirror, and any part of their ego you are analyzing is probably something you’ll have to analyze yourself.

I don’t have all the answers, but I have learned a few things I would like to share:

1. Don’t take the hard times too seriously, and remain positive. Your focus becomes your world, especially with the power behind your twin flame manifestations. Let the negative go, transmute perceived problems, and tell the story of the good times and the good things, and remind yourself how everything is working out as it should.

2. Things aren’t always as they seem. Twin flames connect on the deepest levels, and to focus on what’s happening on the surface level is missing the big picture.

3. Send them love, always. The moment you start sending them any darker emotion, is the moment you are only creating trouble for yourself. This also extends to what you say about them to other people. Your twin flame is a super intuitive person like yourself, and you want them to feel good, and in turn you’ll feel good.

4. Compassion is key. To have compassion for what your twin flame is going through is also extending compassion to yourself. Punishing them for a behavior is the last thing you want to do. The best thing is to try to extend understanding for anything that may be perceived as negative.

5. Focus on yourself. This seems counter intuitive sometimes, but when you are kind to yourself, you are doing them a kindness. This Love is so deep, that when you focus on yourself, and raise your own vibration, you are also uplifting them.

If I could tell myself one thing when I first met him, it would be to not be so caught up in whether or not you are in “union”. If you close your eyes, and you can feel them, there you go. You are in union. I hope this helps someone going through the same thing. There’s no exact manual or exact science, but this world is full of healers and people with purpose to help change the world for the better. With the state of our world, it’s no wonder that people with huge purposes are walking this planet. Everything is perfect, and everything is happening as it should. Trust the Universe. 💚✌🏼

Indigo Problems: Modern Dating 

Our generation is full of fiery indigo spiritual warriors who want humanity to be free. Indigos stand up for injustice on such a passionate platform, no matter where the chips may fall. These characteristics, while admirable, don’t always translate well into the dating world. Commitment, devotion and loyalty may seem to be synonymous with wearing shackles, tethering yourself to another individual for the indigo. The indigo spirit shuns anything that seems to impose on personal freedoms, including being with someone which may seem to limit your freedom connecting with others.

Even those who are experiencing synchronicity with a potential mate may run into doubts and problems. Synchronicity is a term coined by psychologist Carl Jung. He recognized that meaningful coincidences exist in this world as confirmation from the universe. What helped me recognize meaningful coincidences as miraculous is actually having a business background. Once you study statistics, you realize that the chances of experiencing a string of profound coincidences are one in a billion. Albert Einstein believed that coincidence is God’s way of remaining anonymous. My experiences have confirmed that synchronicity is experiencing the most tangible presence of God in this third dimensional density. I see answers to my prayers come to me when I follow synchronicity. It’s here for everyone but because we have free will, we can choose to ignore it. We can choose to live without it. We can choose to turn our backs to the miraculous. 

Why do people choose to ignore divine guidance? This topic could be an article all on it’s own, but the most simple answer is fear. Following synchronicity means you are trusting in a divine intelligence. Many people struggle to give up their need to control everything. Following divine guidance is a form of surrendering your ego. Letting go of the ego can be difficult, depending where you are at on your spiritual journey. 

As an intuitive and former whistleblower, I strongly identify with indigo qualities. I, however, feel great freedom in love. Here’s why: to be unconditionally loved by someone is the greatest form of freedom you’ll ever know. To be yourself, unapologetically, and to still have someone love you unconditionally empowers you to just be you. Making that switch in my mind that love doesn’t mean you limit my choices, but love means you build upon and strengthen who I am, has made the difference in opening my heart to love. 

We live in an abundant universe so never believe for a second that love will be denied. The most important thing you can do is to love yourself. Focus on things that inspire you. Follow your passions. Do things that interest you. These actions will lead you to people who also share similar passions. You’ll find that love you are looking for as soon as you call off the search. There is great freedom in love, and recognizing that fact will soothe even the most rebellious indigo soul. 

Label Me: The Human Condition 

Nothing ever stays the same, yet year after year so much changes that it still surprises me. We are constantly evolving, searching and experiencing. Throughout this life, we find ourselves moving in different directions, trying on new labels for ourselves, and moving on to the next. We are a child, a best friend, a student, a lover, an ex-girlfriend, a friend, a roommate, and a soulmate. We go through all of these labels, all the while exchanging experiences with other labels like teacher, boyfriend, boss, and grandma. We are constantly interacting with a sea of faces that go on swapping labels, like best-friend, coworker, and date. At the end of the day, we have a hard time looking past the labels we use to define others’ relationships to us, as well as defining ourselves.  

“Behind every atom of this world hides an infinite universe.” – Rumi

 
Remember, that you are a reflection of the divine. You are a part of the universe, and the universe is a part of you. You are part of all that ever is, all that ever was, and all that ever will be. We are infinite beings, experiencing a finite existence. To get caught up in the matters on the surface is to lose sight of the infinite reality that is your soul: the ghost operating and observing the three-dimensional vessel that is your body. Anything that ever took place in your life is timeless. Anyone you ever exchanged experiences with in this existence is infinitely a part of your story as you are of theirs. Being a part of a creation that is happening through us, and not just to us, is to recognize the divine in every experience you’ll ever have. The truth is, you are as infinite as the entire universe as well as a mere piece of it. As much as change appears to be a reality, there is a constant divine flow that runs through absolutely everything, as we are all a part of all of creation. The next time you catch yourself labeling anything or anyone, consider this: To label yourself as anything less than infinite is to sell yourself short. 

Following Your Intuition to Your Life’s Purpose 

 

 When developing your intuition, you may often find yourself against the grain of society. You may leave a job everyone else in their rational minds would kill for. You may follow a dream that seems impossible. As you honor your inner knowingness, others may not be privy to the divine guidance you are following. Know that there is a good reason for this. 

Albert Einstein said it best when he said: “The intuitive mind is a sacred gift and the rational mind is a faithful servant. We have created a society that honors the servant and has forgotten the gift.” The world around us is often full of people who live their life by rational logic, weighing statistical chances with decision making for a safety net of a future. The truth is though that no matter how much you plan, or take the path that seems the safest, there are no guarantees that things will go as planned. Flexibility is called for as we live in a Creation that is still happening. Things are constantly changing and to pigeon hole yourself into a certain lifestyle or plan goes against your very nature as a child of the universe. The truth is, living from your intuitive self is your direct hotline to an all-knowing, all-being mind. We may not understand completely why we feel we must follow a certain path or action when we follow our intuition, but one thing is certain. A higher power definitely does understand the bigger picture, and having faith in our intuitive guidance is the first step in co-creating a life lived to the fullest. 

Many people would agree that following your intuition sounds good in theory but when putting this notion into practice, it may not be super clear. There are many things you can do to clear your mind and develop your intuition. A good place to start developing your intuition is here: Julie Tour Discusses 5 Simple Steps to Develop Psychic Awareness. There are also many divination tools that can help you sort out true divine guidance from fear. As someone who once had a cushy corporate position, drove a luxury car, and had every material perk one could ask for, I found out the hard way that following that path was not the key to happiness. I was operating from the rational, servant mind and at the end of the day, materialism is only an illusion of security and, to top it all off, my job wasn’t my true passion. If your situation isn’t fueling your passion, chances are that you missed your calling. The good news is that every day that you are still breathing, you have the opportunity to live passionately. When operating from your intuitive mind, your sacred gift from God, your life becomes magical, meaningful, and full of wonder. Never lose your divine birth right to co-create a meaningful, rewarding life. 

Living Consciously 

We have been conditioned from birth to feel the need to expand ourselves, to set goals, to achieve, to acquire. Once we accomplish a goal, we move on to the next, always needing to validate our lives with the next big accomplishment. The problem with always having your sights on the future is that you might just miss the journey. Every moment you spend awake, consciously in a state of just being is a blessing and a miracle. There is no need to validate your miraculousness. 

  

Take a moment each morning to set a new goal for yourself: to relax and enjoy every moment of the day. When we rest, and nurture ourselves, we grow without striving and struggling. When we are rested and practice mindfulness, ideas will come naturally. If that leads to be a future accomplishment, let it, but don’t let your mind dwell in the future. The more we go with the flow, stay present in the here and now, and honor ourselves as whole beings, the less we need to struggle. We push against the energy of the universe when we vibrationally tell the world we need more. When we honor what we have and who we are as whole, we send the vibration of leading a whole life. This is the foundation of living a conscious life. 

Beyond the Superstition: Friday the 13th

Where we find superstition in our society, I find that there is a real, higher science explanation. We often fear what we have yet to understand. After studying numerology, I find that fears regarding numbers have to do entirely with perception. We perceive things within a range of a love vibration and a vibration of fear. The number thirteen has been both feared and celebrated throughout history. Furthermore, our thoughts affect our reality. We can attract tangible things from non-tangible thoughts ( See Living the Law of Attraction) .

If we wake up expecting bad things to happen, you will attract that experience. The opposite is also true. This is why studying the positive frequency within numbers can help you attract positivity. For instance, seeing 666 can either paralyze you with fear or help you re-center your thoughts on light and love, depending on your beliefs. An angel frequency of 666 means that your guides are bringing your attention to the fact that you should let go of fearful illusions and that you may be too materially mindful in that moment. The number thirteen has many meanings. Our negative perception of 13 can come from the number of knots on a noose, the number of witches in a covent, and the thirteenth card in tarot, an ancient form of fortune telling, being death. Of course, death is not always a bad card. Death, after all, can mean a new beginning.

In numerology, 1’s have to do with manifestation and 3’s have to do with ascension and those who have ascended, like Jesus and Buddha. Thirteen signifies, in new age philosophy, the divine feminine, specifically female ascended masters like Quan Yin and Lakshmi. Most women have 13 menstruation cycles in a year, giving the number feminine energy. According to Angel Numerologist and clairvoyant, Doreen Virtue, PhD, 13 signifies that the female ascended masters are helping you manifest positivity by keeping your thoughts positive.

Our founding fathers in America respected the number 13 and harnessed the energy to bless our nation. Some of our greatest thinkers in America’s history including Thomas Jefferson, Benjamin Franklin, and George Washington to name a few, belonged to the Freemasons who believed 13 to have a spiritual purpose. Our dollar bill is littered with 13, from rows of bricks on the pyramid, to the 13 arrows in the eagle’s left talon, to the 13 leaves and 13 olives on the branch.

IMG_0359Friday the 13th is a day of divine energy and manifestation. Your thoughts will determine what you manifest. Will your day be one filled with bad luck or one filled with divine blessings? That is truly the beauty of being free willed beings. You have the opportunity to harness the energy to create whatever experience you desire. Law of attraction is a higher science we are just beginning to understand and see evidence of in our society. Since we are heading in to a weekend of love, focusing on the energy of love can attract more of the experience into your life.

To keep your thoughts positive, use this affirmation:

I am a being of love, and I intentionally manifest a day of love for myself and everyone I come in contact with today.

Happy Friday the Thirteenth!
xo Julie Tour