Online Dating for the Sensitive Soul

Online dating can bring about high expectations for romance while usually delivering something more between a booty call and a wedding date. It’s really like a box of chocolates, and no matter how direct your profile is, or how clear your conversation is, you never really know what kind of date you are going to get. With that said, I do believe online dating has potential for something amazing. The biggest piece to grasp of online dating is maintaining inner peace amidst uncertainty. I wanted to share some tools I’ve learned as a sensitive person myself to bring peace throughout the process.

  1. Don’t hook up with your date right away. No matter how cute they are, how spiritual they claim to be, or how vegan they are, it doesn’t mean they are going to love you unconditionally, forever. As a sensitive person who understands everything is connected and everything is energy, you mustn’t exchange sexual energy with them without a commitment. As sensitive people, we will start feeling that unconditional bond that comes with closeness and not everyone feels that way with sex in this desensitized society. It’s sad, but we are surrounded by people who truly are incapable of feeling because of diet, or media exposure, or lifestyle. You can hook up if you must, but just be prepared to visit #5.
  2. Texting with someone over a period of time does not necessarily mean you are bonding at all. Seems weird, right? You’ve been getting good morning and goodnight texts for weeks, and they text you their yummy vegan meals, and let you know they are thinking about you. In your universe, this means something, right? In the world of online dating, there may be three other conversations going on similarly with multiple people. In the just-swipe-to-find-your-soulmate culture, instant gratification in the land of a million options to choose from is the name of the game. The only way to truly be sure they are feeling the same way is to regularly see each other in person.
  3. Trust your intuition. They said all the right things, even have a million coincidences with your life story, yet didn’t text you the next day? Red flags should not be ignored. Chances are they are not as sensitive as they portrayed, didn’t really catch any major feels no matter what they said, and are on date #2 for the weekend. People always present their best selves on dates and are not always as they seem. The red flag you ignored that didn’t feel right to you will ultimately be the reason you visit #5 later.
  4. Avoid narcissists playing games with your sensitivity. I once dated a guy who really hurt my feelings by not making plans for a second date. A few weeks later, he started blaming me for us not working out because I was still accepting dates with other guys. This took me for a loop. He actually had me feel bad for a behavior that was a logical response to his behavior of not reciprocating interest. Complicated, right? Turns out, he didn’t really want me anyway. He just wanted the power to control who I was dating or not dating like some kind of ego stroke. If someone is being heart-centered, they’d never shame you or guilt you into a behavior. Especially if they aren’t even observing that same behavior (ex. they get mad you still have Tinder dates, yet they are still active on Tinder). If someone is saying something contrary to your purest intentions, trust yourself over anyone else’s opinion and don’t let yourself get manipulated.
  5. Heartbreak is sometimes inevitable. You caught some feels while your date did not. You are a deeply feeling human and it’s okay. Heartbreak means you are on the path to finding what you truly want, and you are closer than ever now that you are no longer wasting time on the wrong person. Let yourself feel it, but don’t wallow too long. Meditate on the infinite abundance of the universe and realize true love won’t be denied to you when it’s right. Trust in the reason for the heartbreak and try again. Maybe you were just meant to touch their life for a moment and to move on to something more right for you. Retreat to yourself for awhile to keep your energy high, and try again. And try not to let the last guy’s mistake affect how you treat the next guy, who could be genuinely trying. 💚

Seems a little scary, right? You may be thinking why put myself through this at all? Trust me, goddess, I feel you. Life is busy and there’s a million things you can experience while you are here. It doesn’t have to necessarily be a romantic love experience at all to lead a fulfilled life. But I do know romantic love is one of the most euphoric experiences to have while you’re a human. A shot at a true partner to experience the magic of life with is worth it.

Realize that the ups and the downs, they are all here for a reason. The Universe would never let you go through a door that wasn’t yours to open. Trust the process. Trust the heartache. Even trust the sadness. The wrong ones will continue to be removed from your life one way or another. And with every door definitively shut, you are that much closer to finding the right one to finally walk through. Know this, and be at peace with it. Remember, sensitivity is a super power. And being able to love deeply and care about people you meet is the reason you’ll find romantic love this life. ✌🏼

Crossroads All Lead Home

Shifts and fluctuations in our surroundings is a part of life. Life is ever changing, ever expanding. Some people grow together, some grow apart. But the truth is, even if you are disappointed in who stays or who leaves, it’s all there for a reason. It’s all about resonance. Someone will vibe with you for one part of the journey, and then something shifts and they are vibing somewhere else. The right doors will open and close for you as a result of your vibration. You are attracting every crossroad for your highest good. 

Always remember that those who leave never really left. We carry pieces of everyone we have ever brought into our awareness. It is up to us to transmute these experiences, as they are always within us. Everyone carries a piece of you with them. Everything you experience and everyone you meet is always within you as well. This truth is that everything is limitless and infinitely connected to everything else. Separation is an illusion. There is only one all-that-is, always. 💫✌🏼

The Self-Love Transformation

Taking a moment to reflect on my weight loss journey tonight, I am appreciating where I am at. Many people are surprised when I tell them I’ve never actually set a goal weight. In fact, I only recently even bought a scale and that was due to being interviewed about my weight loss. I just wanted to be able to speak about my weight with certainty. Even now, though many people acknowledge I have a ways to go or more weight to lose, I still don’t really have an end goal. 

Dr. Wayne Dyer was a brilliant man, whose life’s work has affected my own greatly. He once said that, “Deficiency motivation doesn’t work. It will lead to a life-long pursuit of try to fix me. Learn to appreciate what you have and where and who you are.” This resonated with me on a deep level. 

When you focus on lack, you experience more of it. I don’t want to spend my life being someone who focuses on fixing all of the perceived problems I may or may not even have. When I stopped focusing on my weight problem, I stopped having a weight problem. My weight loss has truly happened out of self-love. I wake up everyday and try to do better for myself. I became discerning in all areas of my life: from food, to the people I allow around me, to how I occupy my time, to the thoughts that flow through my mind. I choose what’s best for me in that moment. I eat plants that’ll make me feel good and motivated to be active, versus processed food that makes me feel like crap. I let go of people who cut me down (even if it’s a joke, it’s never nice) and hang around the ones that build good vibes with me. I meditate instead of focusing on the thoughts that stress me out. It’s really been simple. Enough time has passed that physically, I’ve drastically changed from who I was even a year ago. 

Even now, standing at a hundred pounds lighter, there are people who can only see what I have yet to lose, focusing on lack. I don’t listen to them. I focus on what I’ve gained, what I’ve accomplished, and how amazing the human body really is. When you focus on loving who you are in this moment, everything changes. When you stop listening to the people who don’t believe in you, you start to believe in yourself. This mentality and way of life has opened doors I only dreamed of. The more you focus on being love, which is your true, authentic self, the physical transformation will also become evident. 

Soulmates, Twin Flames, and Lessons: How Do We Know?


Soulmates, twin flames, and lessons: how do we know? And more importantly, how can we manifest these unions? It’s taken a lot of love and a lot of loss for me to gain some clarity on romance for the spiritually-minded goddess. When you have developed your intuition and empathy over the years, when you do finally meet someone who lights you up, your love is intense, the signs will come flying, and you may find yourself overcome with passion for that individual. The difficult balance is communicating these intense feelings without scaring off your potential partner. The beautiful news is that like attracts like, and the person you are connecting with has likely seen the synchronistic moments, felt your loving presence, and also has some type of passion for you as well. The interesting question on my mind is what if the other person hasn’t quite mastered their intuition or opened their heart fully? The impatience sets in when you realize union between two flames can only happen once both people are tuned in to their divine guidance and loving themselves completely. Only then will you be ready to love each other in such a deeply conscious way. 

The magical element to attraction is that every person sent to you is meant to teach you something. You may go through years of failed attempts at love and then finally meet someone who makes you realize the divine timing behind it all. That kind of bliss will help you recognize that all the trials and tribulations were worth it. 
Confusion may set in if the relationship feels familiar– like you’ve known them before. A sense of deja vu can denote a prior lifetime together. These types of relationships often come with karmic baggage that need to be recognized, worked through, and healed. Many people incarnate together over lifetimes because they are part of the same soul group, or soulmates. They can even be family members or friends, not just romantic partners. These relationships are not always rainbows and butterflies. Soulmates help each other grow and transform, which can sometimes be painful. Soulmate relationships can also manifest joy, abundance, and playfulness. The wide spectrum of communication, from deeply concerning topics to blissful days of love and laughter, will keep these soulmates anything but bored. They could spend hours together and still have a lot to talk about. Other days, they could sit in silence and still understand what the other is feeling based on feeling their vibe. Since you’ve known each other through many physical densities, the soul is the one constant connection. And feeling a connection with someone on that level will bring many ethereal ideas and energies into the physical.

We live in a very interesting time of life. The Earth is transmuting old stagnant energies into a golden age. In preparation of that, many people are coming into union with their twin flame. A twin flame is like a soulmate, and can have very similar vibes, but these relationships are more intense. Why? Because a twin flame is literally your parallel soul. Many clairvoyants say that twin flames come into union during their last lifetimes on Earth, once they are the most spiritually evolved through lifetimes of learning. When twins meet each other, they will find a lot of similarities between them even though they have never physically met before. They will find themselves drawn to one another for some reason. That’s because they have been joined in the 5th dimension way before either of them incarnated here. Their lives may share a lot of parallels. They may have similar ancestry, share similar childhood experiences, maybe they’ve even had the same family pets, or come into a lot of money, and lost it all supporting their families at similar times. Maybe they even eat similarly no matter how strange the diet is in terms of societal norms. Maybe there’s a telepathic element there where you seem to be listening to the same songs, or feeling each other’s feelings even without saying a word. I’m speaking from experience. When twins come together, their energy is joyful yet intense. Their childlike humor and sense of adventure makes everyone around them feel happy. They help each other grow and challenge each other like soulmates do, but a twin also comes with many keys of happiness the other needs and vice versa. When twin flames come into union, it’s a huge blessing to not only themselves, but the world. We live in a world of free will choices though and twins and soulmates may choose to experience relationships with other people. When that happens, your 5th dimensional self often knows the divine timing behind why you are separated from your twin, even though your 3rd dimensional self may not fully understand. Everything happens for a reason, even if our finite human minds may not comprehend the reasoning. The point is though, once they come into contact, they are both forever changed. 

While the intensity of these relationships have the potential to rock your world, they also have the potential to heal your world. It’s about which mind you and your soulmate are feeding: one of fear or one of love. We live in a free world so the decision is yours. The beautiful thing is that there is never a wrong decision. Either way, you will learn. Keep in mind that love experienced between two beings is just recognition of the source within another person. This is always within you. You do not need a twin or a soulmate to feel the loving energy of the universe. However, having someone to channel those higher dimensional energies with does bring many additional blessings to this planet. When we send each other love, it builds. 

If you desire to manifest a relationship like this, the best thing you can do is to decide to love yourself. When you work on becoming your greatest version and following your bliss, you’ll attract the higher self of someone else who is also coming into their own. Furthermore, doing things that you are passionate about will lead you to places where others are also passionate about similar things. It’s there that you’ll meet your soul group, your tribe. If you think you’ve met this person, heart to heart conversations are key. Keeping information is literally keeping someone in the dark. Shed light on how you are feeling. Also, buckle up, buttercup. There are many stages twins go through before coming into union. While the fairytale stage is blissful, the turmoil of purging any fears stage, and the runner and the chaser stage is not for the weak of heart. If it’s meant to be, it will happen. Let it go and see what comes back. It is in the moments we stop looking that it comes to fruition. ✨

Spiritual Transformation: Dealing with Outward Changes as You Change Within

When we grow, we change. And true to the law of attraction, when we change, the environment around us changes. Sometimes these changes are difficult. Sometimes, as you raise your awareness and your energy level, we no longer are attracted to the same situations and people. In turn, the people who were once attracted to us may no longer be attracted to brighter versions of ourselves.

 

 One of the toughest lessons I have ever learned was that people you love may leave you, and it’s completely okay. They may not even care to bat an eye that you are pained by that. But just because your big heart cares so much for them when it is not reciprocated, it does not make you weak; it makes you stronger than them since you are capable of unconditional love despite outward appearances. If people let you down, let them walk away. I truly believe that what is lost will always be replaced with something better. Holding on to a situation or person that no longer fits who you are is never the answer. Never be afraid to change yourself as you see fit. Without change, we will never become the best versions of ourselves. And change in ourselves will always mean changes in all areas of our life. Let the old fall away so the newer, brighter future can manifest. The universe is abundant and loving and will never let you down when you let go of the reigns and let the world do the heavy lifting for you. Unconditional love will never be denied to the unconditionally loving heart. 

Living Consciously 

We have been conditioned from birth to feel the need to expand ourselves, to set goals, to achieve, to acquire. Once we accomplish a goal, we move on to the next, always needing to validate our lives with the next big accomplishment. The problem with always having your sights on the future is that you might just miss the journey. Every moment you spend awake, consciously in a state of just being is a blessing and a miracle. There is no need to validate your miraculousness. 

  

Take a moment each morning to set a new goal for yourself: to relax and enjoy every moment of the day. When we rest, and nurture ourselves, we grow without striving and struggling. When we are rested and practice mindfulness, ideas will come naturally. If that leads to be a future accomplishment, let it, but don’t let your mind dwell in the future. The more we go with the flow, stay present in the here and now, and honor ourselves as whole beings, the less we need to struggle. We push against the energy of the universe when we vibrationally tell the world we need more. When we honor what we have and who we are as whole, we send the vibration of leading a whole life. This is the foundation of living a conscious life. 

Spring Equinox 2015: A Solar Eclipse Super New Moon 

 
This Friday, March 20th, is a very rare event in astrology. We will be experiencing a total solar eclipse. According the Edgar Cayce’s A.R.E. Blog, the solar eclipse will be in the very last moments of pisces, which has to do with our emotions. The moon will be passing through the Earth and the sun, which will be visible in parts of Europe and Africa. The solar eclipses of the past have been used in astrology for manifestation between the event and the next full moon. What makes this solar eclipse unique is that the moon is not only a new moon, but a Super New Moon, meaning the moon is at its closest orbit to Earth. Manifestation abilities will be dramatically heightened, so make sure to keep your thoughts at their highest levels. 

What takes this event to the next noteworthy level is that this all happens to fall on the Spring Equinox. The Spring Equinox has been celebrated in human history as a time of increased light, abundance, enlightenment, and healing. From Christianity, to Wiccan tradition, the Spring Equinox is prevalent in many religions, holidays and traditions (See The Goddesses of Easter: Ostara vs Ishtar). The spring equinox is a time honored tradition that shifts previously stagnant energy from the winter, into a time of movement specifically abundance, fertility, and increased light. Scientifically speaking, our days will be full of more sunlight. 



This event will not only affect us energetically on the individual level, but also as a collective. Any obstacles that have been in the way during the winter months will be removed. Our emotions will give us insights on what hasn’t been working for us. Anything negative will be washed away and replaced with something positive, as long as we are willing to let go of what has been holding us back. Take inventory of what’s no longer serving you. This is the perfect time for a spiritual spring cleaning. 

This is a time to reflect on our desires, and how we can best help the planet as a whole. The desire to manifest events to help others will be rewarded at this time. Increased light will bring through our benevolent Angels and guides, who wish to help us with these changes. The effects of this event energetically will be continuing for months ahead. Take a moment this Friday to close your eyes, and envision this planet within a vibration of peace and serenity. Anything that will help you along your path of extending peace to others is something you should set your intention on manifesting. Happy Solar Eclipse, Super Moon, and Spring Equinox Day! 

Beyond the Superstition: Friday the 13th

Where we find superstition in our society, I find that there is a real, higher science explanation. We often fear what we have yet to understand. After studying numerology, I find that fears regarding numbers have to do entirely with perception. We perceive things within a range of a love vibration and a vibration of fear. The number thirteen has been both feared and celebrated throughout history. Furthermore, our thoughts affect our reality. We can attract tangible things from non-tangible thoughts ( See Living the Law of Attraction) .

If we wake up expecting bad things to happen, you will attract that experience. The opposite is also true. This is why studying the positive frequency within numbers can help you attract positivity. For instance, seeing 666 can either paralyze you with fear or help you re-center your thoughts on light and love, depending on your beliefs. An angel frequency of 666 means that your guides are bringing your attention to the fact that you should let go of fearful illusions and that you may be too materially mindful in that moment. The number thirteen has many meanings. Our negative perception of 13 can come from the number of knots on a noose, the number of witches in a covent, and the thirteenth card in tarot, an ancient form of fortune telling, being death. Of course, death is not always a bad card. Death, after all, can mean a new beginning.

In numerology, 1’s have to do with manifestation and 3’s have to do with ascension and those who have ascended, like Jesus and Buddha. Thirteen signifies, in new age philosophy, the divine feminine, specifically female ascended masters like Quan Yin and Lakshmi. Most women have 13 menstruation cycles in a year, giving the number feminine energy. According to Angel Numerologist and clairvoyant, Doreen Virtue, PhD, 13 signifies that the female ascended masters are helping you manifest positivity by keeping your thoughts positive.

Our founding fathers in America respected the number 13 and harnessed the energy to bless our nation. Some of our greatest thinkers in America’s history including Thomas Jefferson, Benjamin Franklin, and George Washington to name a few, belonged to the Freemasons who believed 13 to have a spiritual purpose. Our dollar bill is littered with 13, from rows of bricks on the pyramid, to the 13 arrows in the eagle’s left talon, to the 13 leaves and 13 olives on the branch.

IMG_0359Friday the 13th is a day of divine energy and manifestation. Your thoughts will determine what you manifest. Will your day be one filled with bad luck or one filled with divine blessings? That is truly the beauty of being free willed beings. You have the opportunity to harness the energy to create whatever experience you desire. Law of attraction is a higher science we are just beginning to understand and see evidence of in our society. Since we are heading in to a weekend of love, focusing on the energy of love can attract more of the experience into your life.

To keep your thoughts positive, use this affirmation:

I am a being of love, and I intentionally manifest a day of love for myself and everyone I come in contact with today.

Happy Friday the Thirteenth!
xo Julie Tour

The Revolutionary Spirit: Remembering Dr. King

2015/01/img_0119.pngLooking back at Martin Luther King Jr.’s life work shows a man who was empowered by his revolutionary spirit. As many people take his day of remembrance as an opportunity to post flowery quotes, I feel his most crucial statements get overlooked. Dr. King was truly a revolutionary who would act to change an unjust world. He once said, “Our only hope today lies in our ability to recapture the revolutionary spirit and go out into a sometimes hostile world declaring eternal hostility to poverty, racism, and militarism.”

We still deal with many issues today that Dr. King fought, which many of us have gotten complacent over. Recent census data shows that half of the U.S. population qualifies as poor or low income, with one in five millennials living in poverty. In 2011, 16.7 million children lived in food insecure households. A 2013 UNICEF report ranked the U.S. as having the second highest relative child poverty rates in the developed world. Would Dr. King think that is acceptable?

Many mainstream society members blame poor education or drugs and alcohol on the homeless. Society often blames the homeless for not “getting a job”. Did you know that 44% of homeless people are employed? We can throw the homeless man a dime, or we can start to look at the big picture, like Dr. King would.

We live in a financial landscape where the rich are getting richer and the poor are getting poorer. Such a small group of people control most of the world’s wealth and resources. Our societal abundance is being choked by the greedy few. We keep giving the majority of our wealth to corporations as mom and pop shops are closing their doors. Where we spend our money truly dictates our financial landscape. If you want a revolution, start by revolutionizing your life. Live closer to work. Stop paying so much in gas. Spend money at a local shop versus a place that outsources to make their shareholders richer. Does your company help or inhibit this cause?

Today, take the opportunity to re-evaluate the life you lead and the world in which you live. Which structures need to be reconstructed to better suit everyone and everything that shares this planet? Don’t be complacent when you see others suffer. In Dr. King’s name, take action to make the necessary changes. One man did so much and had a profound impact on all of us. Imagine a world where everyone led their life by their own revolutionary spirit.

Sending Intentions on Super Moon, September 2014

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Tonight is the third and last Super Moon of the summer. A Super moon is an intensified new moon or full moon as far as the effects it has on you, energetically. The Super Moon is in Pisces, bringing us a huge waterfall of emotions. Full moons can often have an emotional effect on us, but when in Pisces, a water sign, emotional healing is dramatically heightened.

As with every full moon, the Super Moon is an opportunity to send new intentions out for the next cycle. In ancient traditions, full moons were said to be able to bring anything to you from abundance to love. Setting intentions will attract an aim very quickly. Each loving word, thought and intention we create in turn sends more loving energy into the world. Human beings have powerful manifestation abilities. We are all alchemists in the sense that we can create and transform the existence around us. As more people send out loving vibrations into the world, the Earth truly resonates at a higher vibration. Let’s continue to send intentions to lift Mother Earth up on this Super Moon. 💗