As a child, I basically ate whatever my parents decided to put in front of me. Until one day, I started questioning the choices of my parents. I was 14 years old when my dad’s side of the family all decided to be on the Atkin’s diet. I watched my dad order a beef burger without the bun, eat as much bacon and sausage as he wanted for breakfast, not eating many vegetables and completely cutting out carbs. Being someone who never particularly enjoyed eating tons of meat, I was repulsed by it. I called it the “flesh” diet. I declared I was a vegetarian and started preparing my own dinners. I didn’t really know how to be a healthy vegetarian, I just knew I didn’t want to contribute to the killing of animals. Once I researched documentaries like “Kentucky Fried Cruelty”, and saw the brutal treatment of animals in factory farms, there was no turning back. I often ate pasta drenched in garlic and olive oil, or omlettes covered in cheese. It wouldn’t be until years later that I truly would make the connection between food as medicine and vitality.
Back then I never could have imagined cutting out eggs and dairy. It took me seeing years later that it’s common practice that male chicks are ground up alive and baby calves are taken from their moms and slaughtered for veal- that there is no humane treatment of animals in any food industry. We are exploiting the most innocent beings on this planet by giving them a life of misery. This connection started making me think about energy in food and focusing on sourcing food that is “cruelty free”. If everything is energy, why would you ever want to consume a product sourced from an animal who lived in misery? It made me question how much negativity we bring into our own lives by absorbing that which we create from these tortured animals.
It wasn’t until I started working at Whole Foods Market did I really put the idea into practice. I set out to eat the highest energy, nutrient-dense foods. I finally learned how to not only eat compassionately for the planet, but also how to eat compassionately for myself. I took E3-Live, a super nutrient-dense algae high in 65 vitamins, minerals and amino acids, every morning with my orange juice. I ate chia pods on my breaks instead of bagels and cream cheese. I often grabbed organic pink lady apples, bananas, and cashews if I was hungry. I always had Lara bars on me, and drank chia kombuchas. If I was craving cheese, I bought cashew cheese and gluten-free crackers. I replaced my morning omlettes with my now favorite dish: the tofu scramble. I often ate at the salad bar, but mixed an avocado from produce with lemon juice over my greens instead of dressing. This diet gave me so much energy I had no problem working out for a couple hours after an 8 hour shift.
I was over 300 lbs when I first started working at Whole Foods. This change to a plant-based diet combined with regularly working out led me to drop over 90 lbs over the past year and a half. Little steps and daily decisions from the heart has led to a huge transformation in my life. It’s been less about the end goal, and more about how to make a loving decision towards myself and the planet in the moment. The weight has fallen off in the process. Every day we have choices to make. Every day we have the ability to channel love and light into every decision we make. It’s our little choices over time that lead to life-changing transformations. I truly believe compassion begins on your plate. What we decide to eat can literally transform our world: from our bodies, to our energy levels, to our environment.
Hearing about the death of a family member has triggered some deep reflection today. I think back to losing my dad, and how painful the funeral and family drama really was for me and my sibling. Dealing with a close death was probably one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to go through, and I did it at such a young age. At the same time, it has taught me so much more about myself, existence, and divine timing than I could have ever imagined. It’s easy when something traumatic happens in this third dimensional reality to focus on the physical absence. What’s beautiful has been to see my dad reach out to us through undeniable signs, famous mediums, and not-so-famous intuitives during the passed eight years. I chronicle these life changing experiences in my upcoming book.
There are a few life and afterlife lessons I have learned definitively that I want to share with those who are grieving today:
1. Death is completely physical. Consciousness survives the physical death of the body. I received confirmation upon confirmation of this fact. One of the most hair raising moments was when it sounded like my dad’s voice and personality was literally coming through Theresa Caputo, TLC’s The Long Island Medium. Furthermore, modern science is also explaining death is an illusion through quantum physics.
2. While no one ever really dies, their perspective changes to a metaphysical perspective. They no longer see existence from this third dimensional, human experience. Having this new bird’s eye view enables our loved ones to watch over us and work with angels to bring us signs, serving a new purpose in our lives as guardian angels.
3. No matter how abrupt or untimely the death of someone seems, all death is on divine time. Awakening to this fact requires faith and trust. Like all experiences in life, we have the free will choice to let the experience tear us apart or make us stronger than ever. Making positive interpretations of death brings us to the highest perspective, inviting the miraculous into our lives.
4. Speaking with our deceased loved ones is only a mental phone call away. While I didn’t always get an immediate reply, my dad always heard me and found ways to answer my questions. Know that they do see us, hear us, and know what we are going through.
5. Our loved ones find their loved ones who have passed on the other side. No one is ever really alone and separation is an illusion. One of the first things my dad let me know is that he found his brother, which I wrote about how I came to know this years ago in my blog post “All Gays Go to Heaven“.
These lessons have been learned through a lot of tears, and a lot of healing. My heart goes out to everyone going through losing a loved one. My intention is to share my experiences with the hope it brings comfort to those who feel lost. No one ever really dies, and death is not the end, just a doorway. We all eventually walk through that door. Love shared is eternal, and you will meet again.
Not knowing your next move is such a magical place. It is in the unplanned moments that life blossoms. When we give our lives the flexibility to transform, when we make room for the universe to bring whatever it wishes into our lives, we open ourselves up to our highest potential. When we try to control every minute detail of our existence, we are doing ourselves a disservice. It is when we give up the need to control everything and trust in a divine intelligence that we invite divine manifestations into our lives.
The most magical, interesting time of my life was the time I was homeless. My transition from the corporate insurance world was anything but smooth. Not many people realize that I actually found myself living in a motel in Detroit with two weiner dogs without a penny to my name or a job. I was the weirdo homeless person driving my things around in a financed BMW 545i. I was back and forth about leaving what turned into an abusive marriage, and found myself friendless and without familial support, whatsoever. When I had turned to the family and friends I once supported to help me with a deposit on a new apartment, they were done. They didn’t really know what to think of me. On one hand, the people of my life saw me experience some amazing things, like my dad contacting me via The Long Island Medium, Theresa Caputo. Some people did understand my passion for writing about my experiences and many of them saw my potential as a spiritual writer. Most people thought I was crazy throwing away my corporate career on new age writing. On the other hand, they saw me constantly seeing the positive in an abusive situation that I would not let go of. My mess was my mess and no one stood behind me as long as I stood with him. Everyone was tired of seeing me struggle and completely let me go at that time in my life.
What is interesting is that “losing everything” brought me to exactly where I needed to go. It was in the most fearful moments of my life that I finally decided to surrender. I knew consciousness survived physical death. I knew angels were all around me. What I struggled with was giving up my own control to that of divine guidance.
I spent about a week in a motel calling every apartment complex I knew of in Oakland County. I was constantly being turned down. Without a job, landlords didn’t want to take a chance on me. It was tempting to lie and say I still sold insurance, but I knew in my gut I would eventually find the perfect place being perfectly honest. I kept my faith during impossible odds. Things were getting desperate. I was down to the last little bit of money I had saved and could only afford one more night in the motel.
I was sitting in a bar using free wifi to search places when I got a call back from a landlord in northern Oakland County. I remember taking down the address. The street number was “144”, which is a powerful angel number. Repeating 4’s is the angels’ way of bringing your attention to their presence. When I met the landlord at the apartment, I told him my story and my vision for my life. I unapologetically spoke of angels and what happens to our loved ones when they leave us. I spoke about the book I wanted to write and how I wanted to help people who were grieving to know that no one ever really dies. The landlord happened to be a religious man with a passion for the spiritual. He let me sign a lease that day and move in immediately. The location of this apartment spurred my way into the natural foods industry. It just so happened to be located near a 40-year-old health store that was hiring. I walked to work to a health food store by day and wrote my book by night. It was there I learned so much knowledge about holistic living that has served me so well and has helped me serve others. That industry brought an army of spiritual warriors around me who also have had similar experiences. I had to shed the friends who didn’t understand, and that hurt, but it was worth it. It was through these experiences that I met my soul group. I met my tribe.
If I had the power to outline my life as I saw fit back then, I could never have envisioned how amazing things actually worked out. We must remember that our finite human minds may not understand what is happening in the bigger picture, but the infinite has already worked out something miraculous. Trusting the universe is not always easy. Sometimes giving into fear is easier in the moment. When we do decide to let go, and be honest and keep putting one foot in front of the other, things have a way of working out in your favor. I trust in the miraculous. I trust that things always work out for the best. As I get older, I trust it even more. My spiritual team on the other side always has my back, and I am never alone. I truly hope my story inspires you to start trusting the same truth, as it is here for everyone. You must always trust in the miraculous, darling.