Online dating can bring about high expectations for romance while usually delivering something more between a booty call and a wedding date. It’s really like a box of chocolates, and no matter how direct your profile is, or how clear your conversation is, you never really know what kind of date you are going to get. With that said, I do believe online dating has potential for something amazing. The biggest piece to grasp of online dating is maintaining inner peace amidst uncertainty. I wanted to share some tools I’ve learned as a sensitive person myself to bring peace throughout the process.
Don’t hook up with your date right away. No matter how cute they are, how spiritual they claim to be, or how vegan they are, it doesn’t mean they are going to love you unconditionally, forever. As a sensitive person who understands everything is connected and everything is energy, you mustn’t exchange sexual energy with them without a commitment. As sensitive people, we will start feeling that unconditional bond that comes with closeness and not everyone feels that way with sex in this desensitized society. It’s sad, but we are surrounded by people who truly are incapable of feeling because of diet, or media exposure, or lifestyle. You can hook up if you must, but just be prepared to visit #5.
Texting with someone over a period of time does not necessarily mean you are bonding at all. Seems weird, right? You’ve been getting good morning and goodnight texts for weeks, and they text you their yummy vegan meals, and let you know they are thinking about you. In your universe, this means something, right? In the world of online dating, there may be three other conversations going on similarly with multiple people. In the just-swipe-to-find-your-soulmate culture, instant gratification in the land of a million options to choose from is the name of the game. The only way to truly be sure they are feeling the same way is to regularly see each other in person.
Trust your intuition. They said all the right things, even have a million coincidences with your life story, yet didn’t text you the next day? Red flags should not be ignored. Chances are they are not as sensitive as they portrayed, didn’t really catch any major feels no matter what they said, and are on date #2 for the weekend. People always present their best selves on dates and are not always as they seem. The red flag you ignored that didn’t feel right to you will ultimately be the reason you visit #5 later.
Avoid narcissists playing games with your sensitivity. I once dated a guy who really hurt my feelings by not making plans for a second date. A few weeks later, he started blaming me for us not working out because I was still accepting dates with other guys. This took me for a loop. He actually had me feel bad for a behavior that was a logical response to his behavior of not reciprocating interest. Complicated, right? Turns out, he didn’t really want me anyway. He just wanted the power to control who I was dating or not dating like some kind of ego stroke. If someone is being heart-centered, they’d never shame you or guilt you into a behavior. Especially if they aren’t even observing that same behavior (ex. they get mad you still have Tinder dates, yet they are still active on Tinder). If someone is saying something contrary to your purest intentions, trust yourself over anyone else’s opinion and don’t let yourself get manipulated.
Heartbreak is sometimes inevitable. You caught some feels while your date did not. You are a deeply feeling human and it’s okay. Heartbreak means you are on the path to finding what you truly want, and you are closer than ever now that you are no longer wasting time on the wrong person. Let yourself feel it, but don’t wallow too long. Meditate on the infinite abundance of the universe and realize true love won’t be denied to you when it’s right. Trust in the reason for the heartbreak and try again. Maybe you were just meant to touch their life for a moment and to move on to something more right for you. Retreat to yourself for awhile to keep your energy high, and try again. And try not to let the last guy’s mistake affect how you treat the next guy, who could be genuinely trying. 💚
Seems a little scary, right? You may be thinking why put myself through this at all? Trust me, goddess, I feel you. Life is busy and there’s a million things you can experience while you are here. It doesn’t have to necessarily be a romantic love experience at all to lead a fulfilled life. But I do know romantic love is one of the most euphoric experiences to have while you’re a human. A shot at a true partner to experience the magic of life with is worth it.
Realize that the ups and the downs, they are all here for a reason. The Universe would never let you go through a door that wasn’t yours to open. Trust the process. Trust the heartache. Even trust the sadness. The wrong ones will continue to be removed from your life one way or another. And with every door definitively shut, you are that much closer to finding the right one to finally walk through. Know this, and be at peace with it. Remember, sensitivity is a super power. And being able to love deeply and care about people you meet is the reason you’ll find romantic love this life. ✌🏼
Veganism is kind of like the mainstream belief in the normality of the “food chain hierarchy”, but in reverse. How did the animal get this nutrient ? What did the animal eat? If the animal got it from another animal, what did that animal eat? There in lies the answer to any nutrition inquiry.
The design of the Earth and our bodies is so intelligent, our nutrients we need just naturally occur in growing plants, and natural elements. Scarcity during changing seasons and weather conditions is the reason our early ancestors hunted animals. In this day and age, a large variety of plants is at our fingertips within a moment’s notice. Killing is unnecessary. Compassion truly begins on your plate: for the animals, the environment, your health, and the future of the human race.
Shifts and fluctuations in our surroundings is a part of life. Life is ever changing, ever expanding. Some people grow together, some grow apart. But the truth is, even if you are disappointed in who stays or who leaves, it’s all there for a reason. It’s all about resonance. Someone will vibe with you for one part of the journey, and then something shifts and they are vibing somewhere else. The right doors will open and close for you as a result of your vibration. You are attracting every crossroad for your highest good.
Always remember that those who leave never really left. We carry pieces of everyone we have ever brought into our awareness. It is up to us to transmute these experiences, as they are always within us. Everyone carries a piece of you with them. Everything you experience and everyone you meet is always within you as well. This truth is that everything is limitless and infinitely connected to everything else. Separation is an illusion. There is only one all-that-is, always. 💫✌🏼
Compassion begins on your plate! As mentioned in the cover story in the August 21, 2017 issue of Woman’s World Magazine on shelves now, attached is my recipe for whole plant-based, vegan shepard’s pie. I am so honored to be featured in the current issue of Woman’s World magazine for plant-based nutrition. To have my weight loss transformation be an example of a vegan, Whole Foods diet being the most compassionate and nutritious lifestyle is honestly a dream come true.
Although the article states you can lose 20 lbs in a week, my over-100lbs-lost story was a slow process over a year and a half, making good daily decisions on plant-based food choices. I never intended to drop the weight, just to do better. The weight loss has been a nice bonus. Always love yourself and your body at any weight. Make daily decisions on activities and food choices from love. Do all things from a place of love, not lack.
Also, I could tell you right now I would not have dropped weight if I continued eating cheese, even though the article suggests doing shreds of cheese on your salad. In fact, a huge part of my spike in energy was abstaining from any and all animal products and focusing on whole, real fruits and vegetables. Replace your eggs and cheese with tofu scrambles, like the recipe in the article. They are seriously delicious and won’t slow you down. 😉
I encourage you all to read “The Whole Foods Diet” book by Whole Foods CEO John Mackey. He focuses on so many health benefits abstaining from animal products. He is so incredibly passionate about it. Case studies have shown people reversing and preventing diabetes, cardiovascular disease and even cancers. Weight loss is the least important benefit to consider.
Chia is an ancient Mayan word for strength. Introducing it into my diet has helped my hunger and stamina exponentially. It’s a good source of protein, fiber, calcium and omega-3. Eating chia puddings have become a staple for me on days I’m losing weight and feeling motivated to work out. My favorite cookie is definitely my mom’s gingerbread so combining her spices with chia pudding seemed like a perfect fit to satisfy my sweet tooth in a healthy way.
4 tablespoons black chia seeds
1 cup coconut milk
1 tablespoon vanilla extract
1 teaspoon* of cinnamon
A dash* of ginger
A dash* of clove
*Can be increased with preference.
Combine ingredients in Tupperware bowl and leave in fridge overnight. If you would like to make more for the week, just keep the ratio of 4 tablespoons per cup of coconut milk in mind.
In the morning, enjoy a healthful, yummy gingerbread chia pudding !
Taking a moment to reflect on my weight loss journey tonight, I am appreciating where I am at. Many people are surprised when I tell them I’ve never actually set a goal weight. In fact, I only recently even bought a scale and that was due to being interviewed about my weight loss. I just wanted to be able to speak about my weight with certainty. Even now, though many people acknowledge I have a ways to go or more weight to lose, I still don’t really have an end goal.
Dr. Wayne Dyer was a brilliant man, whose life’s work has affected my own greatly. He once said that, “Deficiency motivation doesn’t work. It will lead to a life-long pursuit of try to fix me. Learn to appreciate what you have and where and who you are.” This resonated with me on a deep level.
When you focus on lack, you experience more of it. I don’t want to spend my life being someone who focuses on fixing all of the perceived problems I may or may not even have. When I stopped focusing on my weight problem, I stopped having a weight problem. My weight loss has truly happened out of self-love. I wake up everyday and try to do better for myself. I became discerning in all areas of my life: from food, to the people I allow around me, to how I occupy my time, to the thoughts that flow through my mind. I choose what’s best for me in that moment. I eat plants that’ll make me feel good and motivated to be active, versus processed food that makes me feel like crap. I let go of people who cut me down (even if it’s a joke, it’s never nice) and hang around the ones that build good vibes with me. I meditate instead of focusing on the thoughts that stress me out. It’s really been simple. Enough time has passed that physically, I’ve drastically changed from who I was even a year ago.
Even now, standing at a hundred pounds lighter, there are people who can only see what I have yet to lose, focusing on lack. I don’t listen to them. I focus on what I’ve gained, what I’ve accomplished, and how amazing the human body really is. When you focus on loving who you are in this moment, everything changes. When you stop listening to the people who don’t believe in you, you start to believe in yourself. This mentality and way of life has opened doors I only dreamed of. The more you focus on being love, which is your true, authentic self, the physical transformation will also become evident.
As a child, I basically ate whatever my parents decided to put in front of me. Until one day, I started questioning the choices of my parents. I was 14 years old when my dad’s side of the family all decided to be on the Atkin’s diet. I watched my dad order a beef burger without the bun, eat as much bacon and sausage as he wanted for breakfast, not eating many vegetables and completely cutting out carbs. Being someone who never particularly enjoyed eating tons of meat, I was repulsed by it. I called it the “flesh” diet. I declared I was a vegetarian and started preparing my own dinners. I didn’t really know how to be a healthy vegetarian, I just knew I didn’t want to contribute to the killing of animals. Once I researched documentaries like “Kentucky Fried Cruelty”, and saw the brutal treatment of animals in factory farms, there was no turning back. I often ate pasta drenched in garlic and olive oil, or omlettes covered in cheese. It wouldn’t be until years later that I truly would make the connection between food as medicine and vitality.
Back then I never could have imagined cutting out eggs and dairy. It took me seeing years later that it’s common practice that male chicks are ground up alive and baby calves are taken from their moms and slaughtered for veal- that there is no humane treatment of animals in any food industry. We are exploiting the most innocent beings on this planet by giving them a life of misery. This connection started making me think about energy in food and focusing on sourcing food that is “cruelty free”. If everything is energy, why would you ever want to consume a product sourced from an animal who lived in misery? It made me question how much negativity we bring into our own lives by absorbing that which we create from these tortured animals.
It wasn’t until I started working at Whole Foods Market did I really put the idea into practice. I set out to eat the highest energy, nutrient-dense foods. I finally learned how to not only eat compassionately for the planet, but also how to eat compassionately for myself. I took E3-Live, a super nutrient-dense algae high in 65 vitamins, minerals and amino acids, every morning with my orange juice. I ate chia pods on my breaks instead of bagels and cream cheese. I often grabbed organic pink lady apples, bananas, and cashews if I was hungry. I always had Lara bars on me, and drank chia kombuchas. If I was craving cheese, I bought cashew cheese and gluten-free crackers. I replaced my morning omlettes with my now favorite dish: the tofu scramble. I often ate at the salad bar, but mixed an avocado from produce with lemon juice over my greens instead of dressing. This diet gave me so much energy I had no problem working out for a couple hours after an 8 hour shift.
I was over 300 lbs when I first started working at Whole Foods. This change to a plant-based diet combined with regularly working out led me to drop over 90 lbs over the past year and a half. Little steps and daily decisions from the heart has led to a huge transformation in my life. It’s been less about the end goal, and more about how to make a loving decision towards myself and the planet in the moment. The weight has fallen off in the process. Every day we have choices to make. Every day we have the ability to channel love and light into every decision we make. It’s our little choices over time that lead to life-changing transformations. I truly believe compassion begins on your plate. What we decide to eat can literally transform our world: from our bodies, to our energy levels, to our environment.