Self Help

Vegan Confessions: I Dated a Hunter.

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When I found myself out of married life and suddenly single, it literally took me years to get back out there. I rebuilt my life from rock bottom to this beautiful, passion-driven career focus. I’d be damned if I was going to let a guy into my life to destroy what I built again. It took a job promotion and moving to a whole new town with literally no friends to finally have the desire to make an online dating account.

It took me awhile to find anyone I was even remotely interested in. I grew tired of swiping left on all the Michigan boys holding bloody deer heads and dead fish proudly for the camera in their profile pictures, so I put right in my bio: no hunters, please ✌🏼 . The intention was set for a relationship based in common interests.

One of the first guys I met was super nervous after reading up on me. For privacy’s sake, let’s call him Ben. Ben saw I was super passionate about veganism in my bio and thought if he shared he enjoyed deer hunting, I would unmatch him for sure. He decided to take the second route: hide it until he saw me in person. And it paid off.

We met shortly after I moved to this area, and hit it off right away. He laughed nervously as he told me he was a hunter, and begged me to give him a chance. I right away wrote it off as something that wouldn’t last, but he seemed sincere, so I listened. I soon realized Ben loved animals. He loved being outside and surrounded by nature, and that’s why he loved to hunt and fish. He had certain qualities he would look for to try to pick a deer that has already lived, and didn’t have babies. He trained dogs by day, and was knowledgeable at animal psychology and genuinely cared. I could see his heart. His genuine intention for animals is to love them and be close to them.

Ben quickly became my best friend in this area and casually dated me a few times a week. We never really ate together, and he tolerated my vegan burritos, but was turned off instantly at the word “vegan” in front of anything. Despite this, we tried to find desserts we both liked and restaurants we both liked (which is a challenge in mid-Michigan). It all seemed like it was going well. He knew my coworkers and friends, he came with me to a wedding, and we were growing closer and closer, until….. November: hunting season.

It didn’t become known to me he had an issue with me being vegan until things got real. What set me on this nutrition focused path was looking for answers after my dad died of cancer back in 2008, never smoked, never drank, but ate a high meat, Atkins diet. The ten year anniversary was in November this year. Ben spent that day with me making sure I was okay. I found myself on my vegan soap box spewing all of my knowledge about preventing disease and longevity with a plant based, Whole Foods Diet. This was the first time I really let my vegan freak flag fly with him.

And then, I said it: “I want to raise my kids vegan so they have the best shot at life.”

This statement, unknown to me at the time I made it, lead to a 4 day blackout period where I didn’t hear from Ben. The man who stayed with me on the anniversary of my dad’s death, told me he was in love with me, and drove me to a wedding hours away, wouldn’t even text me back, until he finally explained.

Ben texted: “If 4 days is a problem, how are you going to feel when I’m on a two week hunting excursion in my near future? You talk about veganism 25% of the time, and I will not raise my kids vegan. It’s something I never wanted to learn about. And I don’t want to hunt and think about how my lady doesn’t approve. It’s not that you’re vegan, it’s that I can’t escape it. And I can’t change you so I’m letting go. ”

After 6 months of friendship and companionship, we are now strangers who don’t speak. 👌🏼

If I learned anything valuable from Ben, it would be how to look at someone who hunts compassionately. Many hunters’ main motivation for hunting is a misguided love for animals and nature. Knowing this is honestly such a gift and has helped me cope with living in an area surrounded by them. It also taught me another very valuable lesson: the red flags you ignore in the beginning will be the very reason your relationship ends. Never let anyone make you feel bad for setting standards out of self love. If they don’t meet them, not a match. 💚🌱✨

Online Dating for the Sensitive Soul

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Online dating can bring about high expectations for romance while usually delivering something more between a booty call and a wedding date. It’s really like a box of chocolates, and no matter how direct your profile is, or how clear your conversation is, you never really know what kind of date you are going to get. With that said, I do believe online dating has potential for something amazing. The biggest piece to grasp of online dating is maintaining inner peace amidst uncertainty. I wanted to share some tools I’ve learned as a sensitive person myself to bring peace throughout the process.

  1. Don’t hook up with your date right away. No matter how cute they are, how spiritual they claim to be, or how vegan they are, it doesn’t mean they are going to love you unconditionally, forever. As a sensitive person who understands everything is connected and everything is energy, you mustn’t exchange sexual energy with them without a commitment. As sensitive people, we will start feeling that unconditional bond that comes with closeness and not everyone feels that way with sex in this desensitized society. It’s sad, but we are surrounded by people who truly are incapable of feeling because of diet, or media exposure, or lifestyle. You can hook up if you must, but just be prepared to visit #5.
  2. Texting with someone over a period of time does not necessarily mean you are bonding at all. Seems weird, right? You’ve been getting good morning and goodnight texts for weeks, and they text you their yummy vegan meals, and let you know they are thinking about you. In your universe, this means something, right? In the world of online dating, there may be three other conversations going on similarly with multiple people. In the just-swipe-to-find-your-soulmate culture, instant gratification in the land of a million options to choose from is the name of the game. The only way to truly be sure they are feeling the same way is to regularly see each other in person.
  3. Trust your intuition. They said all the right things, even have a million coincidences with your life story, yet didn’t text you the next day? Red flags should not be ignored. Chances are they are not as sensitive as they portrayed, didn’t really catch any major feels no matter what they said, and are on date #2 for the weekend. People always present their best selves on dates and are not always as they seem. The red flag you ignored that didn’t feel right to you will ultimately be the reason you visit #5 later.
  4. Avoid narcissists playing games with your sensitivity. I once dated a guy who really hurt my feelings by not making plans for a second date. A few weeks later, he started blaming me for us not working out because I was still accepting dates with other guys. This took me for a loop. He actually had me feel bad for a behavior that was a logical response to his behavior of not reciprocating interest. Complicated, right? Turns out, he didn’t really want me anyway. He just wanted the power to control who I was dating or not dating like some kind of ego stroke. If someone is being heart-centered, they’d never shame you or guilt you into a behavior. Especially if they aren’t even observing that same behavior (ex. they get mad you still have Tinder dates, yet they are still active on Tinder). If someone is saying something contrary to your purest intentions, trust yourself over anyone else’s opinion and don’t let yourself get manipulated.
  5. Heartbreak is sometimes inevitable. You caught some feels while your date did not. You are a deeply feeling human and it’s okay. Heartbreak means you are on the path to finding what you truly want, and you are closer than ever now that you are no longer wasting time on the wrong person. Let yourself feel it, but don’t wallow too long. Meditate on the infinite abundance of the universe and realize true love won’t be denied to you when it’s right. Trust in the reason for the heartbreak and try again. Maybe you were just meant to touch their life for a moment and to move on to something more right for you. Retreat to yourself for awhile to keep your energy high, and try again. And try not to let the last guy’s mistake affect how you treat the next guy, who could be genuinely trying. 💚

Seems a little scary, right? You may be thinking why put myself through this at all? Trust me, goddess, I feel you. Life is busy and there’s a million things you can experience while you are here. It doesn’t have to necessarily be a romantic love experience at all to lead a fulfilled life. But I do know romantic love is one of the most euphoric experiences to have while you’re a human. A shot at a true partner to experience the magic of life with is worth it.

Realize that the ups and the downs, they are all here for a reason. The Universe would never let you go through a door that wasn’t yours to open. Trust the process. Trust the heartache. Even trust the sadness. The wrong ones will continue to be removed from your life one way or another. And with every door definitively shut, you are that much closer to finding the right one to finally walk through. Know this, and be at peace with it. Remember, sensitivity is a super power. And being able to love deeply and care about people you meet is the reason you’ll find romantic love this life. ✌🏼

Anything You Can Eat, I Can Eat Vegan

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Veganism is kind of like the mainstream belief in the normality of the “food chain hierarchy”, but in reverse. How did the animal get this nutrient ? What did the animal eat? If the animal got it from another animal, what did that animal eat? There in lies the answer to any nutrition inquiry.

The design of the Earth and our bodies is so intelligent, our nutrients we need just naturally occur in growing plants, and natural elements. Scarcity during changing seasons and weather conditions is the reason our early ancestors hunted animals. In this day and age, a large variety of plants is at our fingertips within a moment’s notice. Killing is unnecessary. Compassion truly begins on your plate: for the animals, the environment, your health, and the future of the human race.

Crossroads All Lead Home

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Shifts and fluctuations in our surroundings is a part of life. Life is ever changing, ever expanding. Some people grow together, some grow apart. But the truth is, even if you are disappointed in who stays or who leaves, it’s all there for a reason. It’s all about resonance. Someone will vibe with you for one part of the journey, and then something shifts and they are vibing somewhere else. The right doors will open and close for you as a result of your vibration. You are attracting every crossroad for your highest good. 

Always remember that those who leave never really left. We carry pieces of everyone we have ever brought into our awareness. It is up to us to transmute these experiences, as they are always within us. Everyone carries a piece of you with them. Everything you experience and everyone you meet is always within you as well. This truth is that everything is limitless and infinitely connected to everything else. Separation is an illusion. There is only one all-that-is, always. 💫✌🏼

Woman’s World Farmstand Diet: Flavorful and Rich Vegan Shepard’s Pie

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Compassion begins on your plate! As mentioned in the cover story in the August 21, 2017 issue of Woman’s World Magazine on shelves now, attached is my recipe for whole plant-based, vegan shepard’s pie. I am so honored to be featured in the current issue of Woman’s World magazine for plant-based nutrition. To have my weight loss transformation be an example of a vegan, Whole Foods diet being the most compassionate and nutritious lifestyle is honestly a dream come true.

Although the article states you can lose 20 lbs in a week, my over-100lbs-lost story was a slow process over a year and a half, making good daily decisions on plant-based food choices. I never intended to drop the weight, just to do better. The weight loss has been a nice bonus. Always love yourself and your body at any weight. Make daily decisions on activities and food choices from love. Do all things from a place of love, not lack.

Also, I could tell you right now I would not have dropped weight if I continued eating cheese, even though the article suggests doing shreds of cheese on your salad. In fact, a huge part of my spike in energy was abstaining from any and all animal products and focusing on whole, real fruits and vegetables. Replace your eggs and cheese with tofu scrambles, like the recipe in the article.  They are seriously delicious and won’t slow you down. 😉 

I encourage you all to read “The Whole Foods Diet” book by Whole Foods CEO John Mackey. He focuses on so many health benefits abstaining from animal products. He is so incredibly passionate about it. Case studies have shown people reversing and preventing diabetes, cardiovascular disease and even cancers. Weight loss is the least important benefit to consider. 

Full Recipe: Flavorful and Rich Vegan Shepard’s Pie

Overnight Gingerbread Chia Pudding

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Chia is an ancient Mayan word for strength. Introducing it into my diet has helped my hunger and stamina exponentially. It’s a good source of protein, fiber, calcium and omega-3. Eating chia puddings have become a staple for me on days I’m losing weight and feeling motivated to work out. My favorite cookie is definitely my mom’s gingerbread so combining her spices with chia pudding seemed like a perfect fit to satisfy my sweet tooth in a healthy way. 

You’ll need:

4 tablespoons black chia seeds

1 cup coconut milk

1 tablespoon vanilla extract

1 teaspoon* of cinnamon 

A dash* of ginger

A dash* of clove 

*Can be increased with preference.

Combine ingredients in Tupperware bowl and leave in fridge overnight. If you would like to make more for the week, just keep the ratio of 4 tablespoons per cup of coconut milk in mind.  

In the morning, enjoy a healthful, yummy gingerbread chia pudding ! 

The Self-Love Transformation

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Taking a moment to reflect on my weight loss journey tonight, I am appreciating where I am at. Many people are surprised when I tell them I’ve never actually set a goal weight. In fact, I only recently even bought a scale and that was due to being interviewed about my weight loss. I just wanted to be able to speak about my weight with certainty. Even now, though many people acknowledge I have a ways to go or more weight to lose, I still don’t really have an end goal. 

Dr. Wayne Dyer was a brilliant man, whose life’s work has affected my own greatly. He once said that, “Deficiency motivation doesn’t work. It will lead to a life-long pursuit of try to fix me. Learn to appreciate what you have and where and who you are.” This resonated with me on a deep level. 

When you focus on lack, you experience more of it. I don’t want to spend my life being someone who focuses on fixing all of the perceived problems I may or may not even have. When I stopped focusing on my weight problem, I stopped having a weight problem. My weight loss has truly happened out of self-love. I wake up everyday and try to do better for myself. I became discerning in all areas of my life: from food, to the people I allow around me, to how I occupy my time, to the thoughts that flow through my mind. I choose what’s best for me in that moment. I eat plants that’ll make me feel good and motivated to be active, versus processed food that makes me feel like crap. I let go of people who cut me down (even if it’s a joke, it’s never nice) and hang around the ones that build good vibes with me. I meditate instead of focusing on the thoughts that stress me out. It’s really been simple. Enough time has passed that physically, I’ve drastically changed from who I was even a year ago. 

Even now, standing at a hundred pounds lighter, there are people who can only see what I have yet to lose, focusing on lack. I don’t listen to them. I focus on what I’ve gained, what I’ve accomplished, and how amazing the human body really is. When you focus on loving who you are in this moment, everything changes. When you stop listening to the people who don’t believe in you, you start to believe in yourself. This mentality and way of life has opened doors I only dreamed of. The more you focus on being love, which is your true, authentic self, the physical transformation will also become evident. 

Compassion Begins on Your Plate: How Plant-Based Eating Can Transform Your World

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As a child, I basically ate whatever my parents decided to put in front of me. Until one day, I started questioning the choices of my parents. I was 14 years old when my dad’s side of the family all decided to be on the Atkin’s diet. I watched my dad order a beef burger without the bun, eat as much bacon and sausage as he wanted for breakfast, not eating many vegetables and completely cutting out carbs. Being someone who never particularly enjoyed eating tons of meat, I was repulsed by it. I called it the “flesh” diet. I declared I was a vegetarian and started preparing my own dinners. I didn’t really know how to be a healthy vegetarian, I just knew I didn’t want to contribute to the killing of animals. Once I researched documentaries like “Kentucky Fried Cruelty”, and saw the brutal treatment of animals in factory farms, there was no turning back. I often ate pasta drenched in garlic and olive oil, or omlettes covered in cheese. It wouldn’t be until years later that I truly would make the connection between food as medicine and vitality.

Back then I never could have imagined cutting out eggs and dairy. It took me seeing years later that it’s common practice that male chicks are ground up alive and baby calves are taken from their moms and slaughtered for veal- that there is no humane treatment of animals in any food industry. We are exploiting the most innocent beings on this planet by giving them a life of misery. This connection started making me think about energy in food and focusing on sourcing food that is “cruelty free”. If everything is energy, why would you ever want to consume a product sourced from an animal who lived in misery? It made me question how much negativity we bring into our own lives by absorbing that which we create from these tortured animals. 

It wasn’t until I started working at Whole Foods Market did I really put the idea into practice. I set out to eat the highest energy, nutrient-dense foods. I finally learned how to not only eat compassionately for the planet, but also how to eat compassionately for myself. I took E3-Live, a super nutrient-dense algae high in 65 vitamins, minerals and amino acids, every morning with my orange juice. I ate chia pods on my breaks instead of bagels and cream cheese. I often grabbed organic pink lady apples, bananas, and cashews if I was hungry. I always had Lara bars on me, and drank chia kombuchas. If I was craving cheese, I bought cashew cheese and gluten-free crackers. I replaced my morning omlettes with my now favorite dish: the tofu scramble. I often ate at the salad bar, but mixed an avocado from produce with lemon juice over my greens instead of dressing. This diet gave me so much energy I had no problem working out for a couple hours after an 8 hour shift. 

I was over 300 lbs when I first started working at Whole Foods. This change to a plant-based diet combined with regularly working out led me to drop over 90 lbs over the past year and a half. Little steps and daily decisions from the heart has led to a huge transformation in my life. It’s been less about the end goal, and more about how to make a loving decision towards myself and the planet in the moment. The weight has fallen off in the process. Every day we have choices to make. Every day we have the ability to channel love and light into every decision we make. It’s our little choices over time that lead to life-changing transformations. I truly believe compassion begins on your plate. What we decide to eat can literally transform our world: from our bodies, to our energy levels, to our environment.

Indigo Problems: Modern Dating 

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Our generation is full of fiery indigo spiritual warriors who want humanity to be free. Indigos stand up for injustice on such a passionate platform, no matter where the chips may fall. These characteristics, while admirable, don’t always translate well into the dating world. Commitment, devotion and loyalty may seem to be synonymous with wearing shackles, tethering yourself to another individual for the indigo. The indigo spirit shuns anything that seems to impose on personal freedoms, including being with someone which may seem to limit your freedom connecting with others.

Even those who are experiencing synchronicity with a potential mate may run into doubts and problems. Synchronicity is a term coined by psychologist Carl Jung. He recognized that meaningful coincidences exist in this world as confirmation from the universe. What helped me recognize meaningful coincidences as miraculous is actually having a business background. Once you study statistics, you realize that the chances of experiencing a string of profound coincidences are one in a billion. Albert Einstein believed that coincidence is God’s way of remaining anonymous. My experiences have confirmed that synchronicity is experiencing the most tangible presence of God in this third dimensional density. I see answers to my prayers come to me when I follow synchronicity. It’s here for everyone but because we have free will, we can choose to ignore it. We can choose to live without it. We can choose to turn our backs to the miraculous. 

Why do people choose to ignore divine guidance? This topic could be an article all on it’s own, but the most simple answer is fear. Following synchronicity means you are trusting in a divine intelligence. Many people struggle to give up their need to control everything. Following divine guidance is a form of surrendering your ego. Letting go of the ego can be difficult, depending where you are at on your spiritual journey. 

As an intuitive and former whistleblower, I strongly identify with indigo qualities. I, however, feel great freedom in love. Here’s why: to be unconditionally loved by someone is the greatest form of freedom you’ll ever know. To be yourself, unapologetically, and to still have someone love you unconditionally empowers you to just be you. Making that switch in my mind that love doesn’t mean you limit my choices, but love means you build upon and strengthen who I am, has made the difference in opening my heart to love. 

We live in an abundant universe so never believe for a second that love will be denied. The most important thing you can do is to love yourself. Focus on things that inspire you. Follow your passions. Do things that interest you. These actions will lead you to people who also share similar passions. You’ll find that love you are looking for as soon as you call off the search. There is great freedom in love, and recognizing that fact will soothe even the most rebellious indigo soul. 

Surrender Your Situation: That One Time I was Homeless

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Not knowing your next move is such a magical place. It is in the unplanned moments that life blossoms. When we give our lives the flexibility to transform, when we make room for the universe to bring whatever it wishes into our lives, we open ourselves up to our highest potential. When we try to control every minute detail of our existence, we are doing ourselves a disservice. It is when we give up the need to control everything and trust in a divine intelligence that we invite divine manifestations into our lives. 

The most magical, interesting time of my life was the time I was homeless. My transition from the corporate insurance world was anything but smooth. Not many people realize that I actually found myself living in a motel in Detroit with two weiner dogs without a penny to my name or a job. I was the weirdo homeless person driving my things around in a financed BMW 545i. I was back and forth about leaving what turned into an abusive marriage, and found myself friendless and without familial support, whatsoever. When I had turned to the family and friends I once supported to help me with a deposit on a new apartment, they were done. They didn’t really know what to think of me. On one hand, the people of my life saw me experience some amazing things, like my dad contacting me via The Long Island Medium, Theresa Caputo. Some people did understand my passion for writing about my experiences and many of them saw my potential as a spiritual writer. Most people thought I was crazy throwing away my corporate career on new age writing. On the other hand, they saw me constantly seeing the positive in an abusive situation that I would not let go of. My mess was my mess and no one stood behind me as long as I stood with him. Everyone was tired of seeing me struggle and completely let me go at that time in my life. 

What is interesting is that “losing everything” brought me to exactly where I needed to go. It was in the most fearful moments of my life that I finally decided to surrender. I knew consciousness survived physical death. I knew angels were all around me. What I struggled with was giving up my own control to that of divine guidance. 

I spent about a week in a motel calling every apartment complex I knew of in Oakland County. I was constantly being turned down. Without a job, landlords didn’t want to take a chance on me. It was tempting to lie and say I still sold insurance, but I knew in my gut I would eventually find the perfect place being perfectly honest. I kept my faith during impossible odds. Things were getting desperate. I was down to the last little bit of money I had saved and could only afford one more night in the motel.

I was sitting in a bar using free wifi to search places when I got a call back from a landlord in northern Oakland County. I remember taking down the address. The street number was “144”, which is a powerful angel number. Repeating 4’s is the angels’ way of bringing your attention to their presence. When I met the landlord at the apartment, I told him my story and my vision for my life. I unapologetically spoke of angels and what happens to our loved ones when they leave us. I spoke about the book I wanted to write and how I wanted to help people who were grieving to know that no one ever really dies. The landlord happened to be a religious man with a passion for the spiritual. He let me sign a lease that day and move in immediately. The location of this apartment spurred my way into the natural foods industry. It just so happened to be located near a 40-year-old health store that was hiring. I walked to work to a health food store by day and wrote my book by night. It was there I learned so much knowledge about holistic living that has served me so well and has helped me serve others. That industry brought an army of spiritual warriors around me who also have had similar experiences. I had to shed the friends who didn’t understand, and that hurt, but it was worth it. It was through these experiences that I met my soul group. I met my tribe.

If I had the power to outline my life as I saw fit back then, I could never have envisioned how amazing things actually worked out. We must remember that our finite human minds may not understand what is happening in the bigger picture, but the infinite has already worked out something miraculous. Trusting the universe is not always easy. Sometimes giving into fear is easier in the moment. When we do decide to let go, and be honest and keep putting one foot in front of the other, things have a way of working out in your favor. I trust in the miraculous. I trust that things always work out for the best. As I get older, I trust it even more. My spiritual team on the other side always has my back, and I am never alone. I truly hope my story inspires you to start trusting the same truth, as it is here for everyone.  You must always trust in the miraculous, darling.