Romance

Vegan Confessions: I Dated a Hunter.

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When I found myself out of married life and suddenly single, it literally took me years to get back out there. I rebuilt my life from rock bottom to this beautiful, passion-driven career focus. I’d be damned if I was going to let a guy into my life to destroy what I built again. It took a job promotion and moving to a whole new town with literally no friends to finally have the desire to make an online dating account.

It took me awhile to find anyone I was even remotely interested in. I grew tired of swiping left on all the Michigan boys holding bloody deer heads and dead fish proudly for the camera in their profile pictures, so I put right in my bio: no hunters, please ✌🏼 . The intention was set for a relationship based in common interests.

One of the first guys I met was super nervous after reading up on me. For privacy’s sake, let’s call him Ben. Ben saw I was super passionate about veganism in my bio and thought if he shared he enjoyed deer hunting, I would unmatch him for sure. He decided to take the second route: hide it until he saw me in person. And it paid off.

We met shortly after I moved to this area, and hit it off right away. He laughed nervously as he told me he was a hunter, and begged me to give him a chance. I right away wrote it off as something that wouldn’t last, but he seemed sincere, so I listened. I soon realized Ben loved animals. He loved being outside and surrounded by nature, and that’s why he loved to hunt and fish. He had certain qualities he would look for to try to pick a deer that has already lived, and didn’t have babies. He trained dogs by day, and was knowledgeable at animal psychology and genuinely cared. I could see his heart. His genuine intention for animals is to love them and be close to them.

Ben quickly became my best friend in this area and casually dated me a few times a week. We never really ate together, and he tolerated my vegan burritos, but was turned off instantly at the word “vegan” in front of anything. Despite this, we tried to find desserts we both liked and restaurants we both liked (which is a challenge in mid-Michigan). It all seemed like it was going well. He knew my coworkers and friends, he came with me to a wedding, and we were growing closer and closer, until….. November: hunting season.

It didn’t become known to me he had an issue with me being vegan until things got real. What set me on this nutrition focused path was looking for answers after my dad died of cancer back in 2008, never smoked, never drank, but ate a high meat, Atkins diet. The ten year anniversary was in November this year. Ben spent that day with me making sure I was okay. I found myself on my vegan soap box spewing all of my knowledge about preventing disease and longevity with a plant based, Whole Foods Diet. This was the first time I really let my vegan freak flag fly with him.

And then, I said it: “I want to raise my kids vegan so they have the best shot at life.”

This statement, unknown to me at the time I made it, lead to a 4 day blackout period where I didn’t hear from Ben. The man who stayed with me on the anniversary of my dad’s death, told me he was in love with me, and drove me to a wedding hours away, wouldn’t even text me back, until he finally explained.

Ben texted: “If 4 days is a problem, how are you going to feel when I’m on a two week hunting excursion in my near future? You talk about veganism 25% of the time, and I will not raise my kids vegan. It’s something I never wanted to learn about. And I don’t want to hunt and think about how my lady doesn’t approve. It’s not that you’re vegan, it’s that I can’t escape it. And I can’t change you so I’m letting go. ”

After 6 months of friendship and companionship, we are now strangers who don’t speak. 👌🏼

If I learned anything valuable from Ben, it would be how to look at someone who hunts compassionately. Many hunters’ main motivation for hunting is a misguided love for animals and nature. Knowing this is honestly such a gift and has helped me cope with living in an area surrounded by them. It also taught me another very valuable lesson: the red flags you ignore in the beginning will be the very reason your relationship ends. Never let anyone make you feel bad for setting standards out of self love. If they don’t meet them, not a match. 💚🌱✨

Online Dating for the Sensitive Soul

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Online dating can bring about high expectations for romance while usually delivering something more between a booty call and a wedding date. It’s really like a box of chocolates, and no matter how direct your profile is, or how clear your conversation is, you never really know what kind of date you are going to get. With that said, I do believe online dating has potential for something amazing. The biggest piece to grasp of online dating is maintaining inner peace amidst uncertainty. I wanted to share some tools I’ve learned as a sensitive person myself to bring peace throughout the process.

  1. Don’t hook up with your date right away. No matter how cute they are, how spiritual they claim to be, or how vegan they are, it doesn’t mean they are going to love you unconditionally, forever. As a sensitive person who understands everything is connected and everything is energy, you mustn’t exchange sexual energy with them without a commitment. As sensitive people, we will start feeling that unconditional bond that comes with closeness and not everyone feels that way with sex in this desensitized society. It’s sad, but we are surrounded by people who truly are incapable of feeling because of diet, or media exposure, or lifestyle. You can hook up if you must, but just be prepared to visit #5.
  2. Texting with someone over a period of time does not necessarily mean you are bonding at all. Seems weird, right? You’ve been getting good morning and goodnight texts for weeks, and they text you their yummy vegan meals, and let you know they are thinking about you. In your universe, this means something, right? In the world of online dating, there may be three other conversations going on similarly with multiple people. In the just-swipe-to-find-your-soulmate culture, instant gratification in the land of a million options to choose from is the name of the game. The only way to truly be sure they are feeling the same way is to regularly see each other in person.
  3. Trust your intuition. They said all the right things, even have a million coincidences with your life story, yet didn’t text you the next day? Red flags should not be ignored. Chances are they are not as sensitive as they portrayed, didn’t really catch any major feels no matter what they said, and are on date #2 for the weekend. People always present their best selves on dates and are not always as they seem. The red flag you ignored that didn’t feel right to you will ultimately be the reason you visit #5 later.
  4. Avoid narcissists playing games with your sensitivity. I once dated a guy who really hurt my feelings by not making plans for a second date. A few weeks later, he started blaming me for us not working out because I was still accepting dates with other guys. This took me for a loop. He actually had me feel bad for a behavior that was a logical response to his behavior of not reciprocating interest. Complicated, right? Turns out, he didn’t really want me anyway. He just wanted the power to control who I was dating or not dating like some kind of ego stroke. If someone is being heart-centered, they’d never shame you or guilt you into a behavior. Especially if they aren’t even observing that same behavior (ex. they get mad you still have Tinder dates, yet they are still active on Tinder). If someone is saying something contrary to your purest intentions, trust yourself over anyone else’s opinion and don’t let yourself get manipulated.
  5. Heartbreak is sometimes inevitable. You caught some feels while your date did not. You are a deeply feeling human and it’s okay. Heartbreak means you are on the path to finding what you truly want, and you are closer than ever now that you are no longer wasting time on the wrong person. Let yourself feel it, but don’t wallow too long. Meditate on the infinite abundance of the universe and realize true love won’t be denied to you when it’s right. Trust in the reason for the heartbreak and try again. Maybe you were just meant to touch their life for a moment and to move on to something more right for you. Retreat to yourself for awhile to keep your energy high, and try again. And try not to let the last guy’s mistake affect how you treat the next guy, who could be genuinely trying. 💚

Seems a little scary, right? You may be thinking why put myself through this at all? Trust me, goddess, I feel you. Life is busy and there’s a million things you can experience while you are here. It doesn’t have to necessarily be a romantic love experience at all to lead a fulfilled life. But I do know romantic love is one of the most euphoric experiences to have while you’re a human. A shot at a true partner to experience the magic of life with is worth it.

Realize that the ups and the downs, they are all here for a reason. The Universe would never let you go through a door that wasn’t yours to open. Trust the process. Trust the heartache. Even trust the sadness. The wrong ones will continue to be removed from your life one way or another. And with every door definitively shut, you are that much closer to finding the right one to finally walk through. Know this, and be at peace with it. Remember, sensitivity is a super power. And being able to love deeply and care about people you meet is the reason you’ll find romantic love this life. ✌🏼

The Twin Flame Conundrum

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I never really fully understood what the spiritual community meant by a “twin flame” and I confused the term for a soulmate for a really long time. I’m finding the people who truly meet their twin flames are those who dare to live with passion and purpose, despite impossible odds. The desire to live your fullest life that helps others will set your life in motion to meet them. The events that lead to meet them may be heart wrenching and difficult, but it was the Universe doing you a kindness to redirect your life perfectly. Twin flames are literally a part of your soul with a shared purpose, and are the most incredible mirror of your self. Everything about you will be amplified. The meeting of twin flames is so intense, both are changed forever. Sometimes the meeting is brief. But more likely, it’s a string of events that can be described as a roller coaster, a push and pull, a magnet that both attracts and repels. It will leave your friends and family questioning, and your brain second guessing. But your heart will always know and be set on this person.

I find that most people don’t even meet their twin flames and lead perfectly fulfilling lives with their soulmate or karmic relationship. Some people meet their twin flames and never actually marry them. The relationship is so intense, that it’s difficult to maintain in this 3dimensional reality. Both partners need to constantly release negativity and work on themselves to even hope to be together. A twin is your mirror, and while it can mirror the most heavenly love back to you, it can also mirror every insecurity, and every dark place you still hold in the back of your consciousness.

How do you know if you met your twin flame? I can only really speak to my own experience. You will instantly recognize them as someone significant, because it will be in perfect, divine timing. For me, I always see repeating 4’s during significant times, and the first time I learned the name of mine, I also saw his phone number ending in 444. You’ll meet your twin flame with such a small decision that could have gone either way. Then one day you’ll realize it was always meant to happen. They will share life experiences that you yourself have gone through that you didn’t think was possible to be shared with another human. You may listen to the same music, or have the same type of dogs, or share the same beliefs. My twin flame and I both lost 100 lbs, and left really unhealthy lifestyles around the same year. He also came into and lost a lot of money the same years I did, supporting our family and friends. When I first walked into my twin flame’s apartment, it looked exactly like my first apartment from the color on the walls, to the dream catchers displayed in the same weird way, to the same products and the same vibes. You can probably find yourself around their kitchen, and every single thing will be in the same spot, down to the same exact glass cutting board you both purchased. You may even both share the same random first concert, and it could be a band that often sings about love and intuition, and a higher power, even if they aren’t popular anymore. You may also both question yourself in similar ways, and have the deepest empathy you’ve ever felt for another human. If they are having a bad day, you can feel it, even hundreds of miles away.

When you are together, either everything will line up and fall together in the most magical, synchronistic way, or it can be a series of unfortunate events. You both manifest so strongly together that your focus of your thoughts will attract your reality and experiences for the day. This is by design, to manifest a big purpose together. Here in lies the twin flame conundrum. You and your twin flame truly have to master yourselves to make sure you are both manifesting the beautiful things you both deserve, versus the hell your darker parts try to make you believe you deserve. This was a hard one for me to recognize as someone who has grown so much and overcame some really testing situations. If your twin flame is struggling to love themselves enough to overcome their past, you also have more work to do. If your twin flame is still punishing themselves for past mistakes, instead of living in the moment, then you are too. Your twin is literally your perfect mirror, and any part of their ego you are analyzing is probably something you’ll have to analyze yourself.

I don’t have all the answers, but I have learned a few things I would like to share:

1. Don’t take the hard times too seriously, and remain positive. Your focus becomes your world, especially with the power behind your twin flame manifestations. Let the negative go, transmute perceived problems, and tell the story of the good times and the good things, and remind yourself how everything is working out as it should.

2. Things aren’t always as they seem. Twin flames connect on the deepest levels, and to focus on what’s happening on the surface level is missing the big picture.

3. Send them love, always. The moment you start sending them any darker emotion, is the moment you are only creating trouble for yourself. This also extends to what you say about them to other people. Your twin flame is a super intuitive person like yourself, and you want them to feel good, and in turn you’ll feel good.

4. Compassion is key. To have compassion for what your twin flame is going through is also extending compassion to yourself. Punishing them for a behavior is the last thing you want to do. The best thing is to try to extend understanding for anything that may be perceived as negative.

5. Focus on yourself. This seems counter intuitive sometimes, but when you are kind to yourself, you are doing them a kindness. This Love is so deep, that when you focus on yourself, and raise your own vibration, you are also uplifting them.

If I could tell myself one thing when I first met him, it would be to not be so caught up in whether or not you are in “union”. If you close your eyes, and you can feel them, there you go. You are in union. I hope this helps someone going through the same thing. There’s no exact manual or exact science, but this world is full of healers and people with purpose to help change the world for the better. With the state of our world, it’s no wonder that people with huge purposes are walking this planet. Everything is perfect, and everything is happening as it should. Trust the Universe. 💚✌🏼

Indigo Problems: Modern Dating 

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Our generation is full of fiery indigo spiritual warriors who want humanity to be free. Indigos stand up for injustice on such a passionate platform, no matter where the chips may fall. These characteristics, while admirable, don’t always translate well into the dating world. Commitment, devotion and loyalty may seem to be synonymous with wearing shackles, tethering yourself to another individual for the indigo. The indigo spirit shuns anything that seems to impose on personal freedoms, including being with someone which may seem to limit your freedom connecting with others.

Even those who are experiencing synchronicity with a potential mate may run into doubts and problems. Synchronicity is a term coined by psychologist Carl Jung. He recognized that meaningful coincidences exist in this world as confirmation from the universe. What helped me recognize meaningful coincidences as miraculous is actually having a business background. Once you study statistics, you realize that the chances of experiencing a string of profound coincidences are one in a billion. Albert Einstein believed that coincidence is God’s way of remaining anonymous. My experiences have confirmed that synchronicity is experiencing the most tangible presence of God in this third dimensional density. I see answers to my prayers come to me when I follow synchronicity. It’s here for everyone but because we have free will, we can choose to ignore it. We can choose to live without it. We can choose to turn our backs to the miraculous. 

Why do people choose to ignore divine guidance? This topic could be an article all on it’s own, but the most simple answer is fear. Following synchronicity means you are trusting in a divine intelligence. Many people struggle to give up their need to control everything. Following divine guidance is a form of surrendering your ego. Letting go of the ego can be difficult, depending where you are at on your spiritual journey. 

As an intuitive and former whistleblower, I strongly identify with indigo qualities. I, however, feel great freedom in love. Here’s why: to be unconditionally loved by someone is the greatest form of freedom you’ll ever know. To be yourself, unapologetically, and to still have someone love you unconditionally empowers you to just be you. Making that switch in my mind that love doesn’t mean you limit my choices, but love means you build upon and strengthen who I am, has made the difference in opening my heart to love. 

We live in an abundant universe so never believe for a second that love will be denied. The most important thing you can do is to love yourself. Focus on things that inspire you. Follow your passions. Do things that interest you. These actions will lead you to people who also share similar passions. You’ll find that love you are looking for as soon as you call off the search. There is great freedom in love, and recognizing that fact will soothe even the most rebellious indigo soul. 

Soulmates, Twin Flames, and Lessons: How Do We Know?

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Soulmates, twin flames, and lessons: how do we know? And more importantly, how can we manifest these unions? It’s taken a lot of love and a lot of loss for me to gain some clarity on romance for the spiritually-minded goddess. When you have developed your intuition and empathy over the years, when you do finally meet someone who lights you up, your love is intense, the signs will come flying, and you may find yourself overcome with passion for that individual. The difficult balance is communicating these intense feelings without scaring off your potential partner. The beautiful news is that like attracts like, and the person you are connecting with has likely seen the synchronistic moments, felt your loving presence, and also has some type of passion for you as well. The interesting question on my mind is what if the other person hasn’t quite mastered their intuition or opened their heart fully? The impatience sets in when you realize union between two flames can only happen once both people are tuned in to their divine guidance and loving themselves completely. Only then will you be ready to love each other in such a deeply conscious way. 

The magical element to attraction is that every person sent to you is meant to teach you something. You may go through years of failed attempts at love and then finally meet someone who makes you realize the divine timing behind it all. That kind of bliss will help you recognize that all the trials and tribulations were worth it. 
Confusion may set in if the relationship feels familiar– like you’ve known them before. A sense of deja vu can denote a prior lifetime together. These types of relationships often come with karmic baggage that need to be recognized, worked through, and healed. Many people incarnate together over lifetimes because they are part of the same soul group, or soulmates. They can even be family members or friends, not just romantic partners. These relationships are not always rainbows and butterflies. Soulmates help each other grow and transform, which can sometimes be painful. Soulmate relationships can also manifest joy, abundance, and playfulness. The wide spectrum of communication, from deeply concerning topics to blissful days of love and laughter, will keep these soulmates anything but bored. They could spend hours together and still have a lot to talk about. Other days, they could sit in silence and still understand what the other is feeling based on feeling their vibe. Since you’ve known each other through many physical densities, the soul is the one constant connection. And feeling a connection with someone on that level will bring many ethereal ideas and energies into the physical.

We live in a very interesting time of life. The Earth is transmuting old stagnant energies into a golden age. In preparation of that, many people are coming into union with their twin flame. A twin flame is like a soulmate, and can have very similar vibes, but these relationships are more intense. Why? Because a twin flame is literally your parallel soul. Many clairvoyants say that twin flames come into union during their last lifetimes on Earth, once they are the most spiritually evolved through lifetimes of learning. When twins meet each other, they will find a lot of similarities between them even though they have never physically met before. They will find themselves drawn to one another for some reason. That’s because they have been joined in the 5th dimension way before either of them incarnated here. Their lives may share a lot of parallels. They may have similar ancestry, share similar childhood experiences, maybe they’ve even had the same family pets, or come into a lot of money, and lost it all supporting their families at similar times. Maybe they even eat similarly no matter how strange the diet is in terms of societal norms. Maybe there’s a telepathic element there where you seem to be listening to the same songs, or feeling each other’s feelings even without saying a word. I’m speaking from experience. When twins come together, their energy is joyful yet intense. Their childlike humor and sense of adventure makes everyone around them feel happy. They help each other grow and challenge each other like soulmates do, but a twin also comes with many keys of happiness the other needs and vice versa. When twin flames come into union, it’s a huge blessing to not only themselves, but the world. We live in a world of free will choices though and twins and soulmates may choose to experience relationships with other people. When that happens, your 5th dimensional self often knows the divine timing behind why you are separated from your twin, even though your 3rd dimensional self may not fully understand. Everything happens for a reason, even if our finite human minds may not comprehend the reasoning. The point is though, once they come into contact, they are both forever changed. 

While the intensity of these relationships have the potential to rock your world, they also have the potential to heal your world. It’s about which mind you and your soulmate are feeding: one of fear or one of love. We live in a free world so the decision is yours. The beautiful thing is that there is never a wrong decision. Either way, you will learn. Keep in mind that love experienced between two beings is just recognition of the source within another person. This is always within you. You do not need a twin or a soulmate to feel the loving energy of the universe. However, having someone to channel those higher dimensional energies with does bring many additional blessings to this planet. When we send each other love, it builds. 

If you desire to manifest a relationship like this, the best thing you can do is to decide to love yourself. When you work on becoming your greatest version and following your bliss, you’ll attract the higher self of someone else who is also coming into their own. Furthermore, doing things that you are passionate about will lead you to places where others are also passionate about similar things. It’s there that you’ll meet your soul group, your tribe. If you think you’ve met this person, heart to heart conversations are key. Keeping information is literally keeping someone in the dark. Shed light on how you are feeling. Also, buckle up, buttercup. There are many stages twins go through before coming into union. While the fairytale stage is blissful, the turmoil of purging any fears stage, and the runner and the chaser stage is not for the weak of heart. If it’s meant to be, it will happen. Let it go and see what comes back. It is in the moments we stop looking that it comes to fruition. ✨

Spiritual Transformation: Dealing with Outward Changes as You Change Within

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When we grow, we change. And true to the law of attraction, when we change, the environment around us changes. Sometimes these changes are difficult. Sometimes, as you raise your awareness and your energy level, we no longer are attracted to the same situations and people. In turn, the people who were once attracted to us may no longer be attracted to brighter versions of ourselves.

 

 One of the toughest lessons I have ever learned was that people you love may leave you, and it’s completely okay. They may not even care to bat an eye that you are pained by that. But just because your big heart cares so much for them when it is not reciprocated, it does not make you weak; it makes you stronger than them since you are capable of unconditional love despite outward appearances. If people let you down, let them walk away. I truly believe that what is lost will always be replaced with something better. Holding on to a situation or person that no longer fits who you are is never the answer. Never be afraid to change yourself as you see fit. Without change, we will never become the best versions of ourselves. And change in ourselves will always mean changes in all areas of our life. Let the old fall away so the newer, brighter future can manifest. The universe is abundant and loving and will never let you down when you let go of the reigns and let the world do the heavy lifting for you. Unconditional love will never be denied to the unconditionally loving heart.